Apparently, I’m supposed to be shocked that Kanye West1 is an insane idiot. “Oh no, how could this happen? How did he fall so far? Gasp!!”
But I’ve always known the guy was a few Kardashians short of a reality show. Or at least I’ve known it since 2005, when Kanye said this on live network TV during a benefit for the victims of Hurricane Katrina:
“I hate the way they portray us in the media. You see a black family, it says, ‘They’re looting.’ You see a white family, it says, ‘They’re looking for food.’ And you know, it’s been five days [waiting for federal help] because most of the people are black. And even for me to complain about it, I would be a hypocrite because I’ve tried to turn away from the TV because it’s too hard to watch. I’ve even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now I’m calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give, and just to imagine if I was down there, and those are my people down there. So anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help—with the setup, the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off, as slow as possible. I mean, this is, the Red Cross is doing everything they can. We already realize a lot of the people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way, and they’ve given them permission to go down and shoot us… George Bush doesn’t care about black people.”
The event was called A Concert for Hurricane Relief, but Kanye wanted it to be about Kanye.
In retrospect, there’s some bleak humor in Mike Myers’ visibly stunned reaction. For the first time in his career, he was the one getting upstaged.2
And you know who loved it? Liberals! They thought Kanye was great. To this day they’ve never accepted the result of the 2000 election, and in 2005 the emotional wounds were even more raw. They celebrated Kanye telling it like it wasn’t, because no lie was too insane to strike back at George W. Bush, the man they’d convinced themselves was the next Hitler.3
So no, I’m not surprised that Kanye is now praising the actual Hitler. Hell, I called it almost 14 years ago:
I’ve been a Kanye-hater. This was just another Thursday:
Dude, when Alex Jones is telling you to calm down…
I refuse to be scolded about Kanye West by the people who’ve enabled him for the past 20 years. Libs created this guy, they built him up and told him he was a genius, and now they get to deal with him. He’s not my problem.
Oh, Joe Biden is doing just fine. Why do you ask?
Maybe he meant franc, like their money? Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Some people are actually happy about the following bit of news:
I will indeed stay turned.
One of the people who’s pleased about this development is… me. And here’s another one:
Bye, Chris! Gubbye!
I love it when protesters get owned. The latest trend among these morons is to glue themselves to paintings and stuff, in a bizarre attempt to ruin other people’s appreciation of art. But that doesn’t always work out:
Ha ha ha. Stupid protesters!
We’re finally getting our first look at the new Indiana Jones flick, which might just be released while Harrison Ford is still alive. Now it has a title and everything:
Dial of Destiny? More like Dial M for Metamucil.
They’re being cagey about what the movie is actually about, but the rumor is that it involves Operation Paperclip and time travel. That British lady may or may not end up becoming the new Indiana Jones, via temporal paradoxes and whatnot. First they nuked the fridge, and now they’re nuking Indy’s entire timeline? Guess we’ll see.
And what’s up with making him say, “I don’t believe in magic”? Uh, has he ever seen an Indiana Jones movie?
I’m ambivalent about de-aging older actors, especially after The Irishman. But the “young” Indy doesn’t look too bad, at least in individual shots. And hey, at least Shia LaBeouf is nowhere to be seen. Plus, they do a funny reversal of that scene in the original, where Indy shot the guy waving around the scimitar. How does it feel, Dr. Jones?
I’m trying to stay positive, guys. Maybe this last gasp at a decent Indiana Jones movie won’t suck. It’s possible!
TGIF (Thirteen Goblins Infiltrate Finland), and thanks for reading my daily AD-FREE newsletter.
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No, I’m not calling him “Ye.” I wouldn’t jump through his hoops even if he wasn’t a damn Nazi.
And maybe it’s just a coincidence, but Myers’ career stalled after that. He had a bit part in Inglourious Basterds. He made that awful Love Guru movie. He did Shrek’s voice a few more times. And then there was that weird revamp of The Gong Show, which he hosted under 15 pounds of makeup as “Tommy Maitland,” supposedly a legendary British comedian. The joke was that everybody knew it was actually Myers but pretended not to, and America did not care. The days of Wayne Campbell and Austin Powers are long gone. Call it the Kanye Curse.
Sound familiar?
Is it over when the fat lady sings?
I just can't get over the guy's hair. Maximum bowl cut!
Wow! I laughed so hard at the protesters being carried out I nearly lost my coffee! Just. Perfect.
And I had not seen Joe Biden calling France "Frank". BTW, as happy as I am with the CNN firings, we need more, like Lemon, gone.
I'm glad you were onto Kanye so far back. His bipolarity is riding him. Even Elon had to ban him again.
Indiana Jones will truly suck. The Left has killed Star Wars, Marvel and Disney. They killed the James Bond franchise. I'm surprised they haven't both race- and gender-swapped Indy. Will they have him toss his whip away like Luke Skywalker does his light saber? Dial M for Metamucil is hilarious. A takeoff on Dial M for Murder or Dial H for Hero?
I have to hit the tip jar for this column.
Merry Christmas.