Kamala Harris Is Not Good at Saying Words That Haven't Been Written Down for Her

Neither am I, but I'm not expecting anybody to vote for me

If you’re anything like me, which you probably are or you wouldn’t be reading this, you were halfway-rooting for Kamala Harris to get the Democratic Party’s nomination for president in 2020. Not because she’d be a good president, but because it would be hilarious to watch Trump scandalize the journo class by calling her “Brown Sugar” in a debate and instantly jumping 10 points in the polls. Alas, it was not to be. Harris dropped out of the race before the Iowa caucuses, for the simple reason that she wasn’t a good candidate.

I’m beginning to think that’s why Joe Biden picked her to be his VP. Ol’ Joe was Obama’s insurance policy — as much as I mocked and criticized Obama for eight long years, I was horrified that something might happen to him — and now Kamala is serving the same function in the Biden administration.

Here’s a perfect example:

“Do you have any plans to visit the border?”

“At some point. Y’know, it… We’re going to the border. We’ve been to the border. So, this whole, this whole, this whole thing about the border. We’ve been to the border. We’ve been to the border.”

You haven’t been to the border.”

“And I haven’t been to Europe. And… [CACKLE] I mean, I don’t, I don’t understand the point that you’re making.”

She does understand the point he’s making, which is that Biden claimed to have put her in charge of the border and yet she hasn’t been to the border. She just doesn’t have a good answer.

And keep in mind, she’s foundering like this during an interview with Lester Holt. Not exactly a hostile interviewer.

At this point, every Kamala Harris interview follows a familiar pattern:

  1. Mildly contentious question

  2. Panicked sputtering

  3. Bursting into laughter like Arthur Fleck

She’s not ready for this. She wasn’t ready when she ran, she wasn’t ready when Biden picked her because of her immutable physical characteristics, and she won’t be ready if and when she somehow becomes president.

I honestly think it’s cool that sometimes she wears sneakers, but I always wonder who tied them for her.

If the Republicans can’t do better than this gibbering dingbat in 2024 or 2028 or whenever it happens, I’ve got no sympathy for them.

(And if it makes you angry that I dared to criticize a woman of color, you should probably stop reading now.)

Some people on the right get irritated when I say the Capitol riot was bad and Trump shoulders his share of the blame. And some people on the left get irritated when I point out that the sentiment you’re about to hear, from NYT editorial board member Mara Gay, is very very cray-cray.

“I think as long as [Trump voters] see American-ness as the same, as one, with whiteness, this is going to continue… I was on Long Island this weekend visiting a really dear friend, and I was really disturbed. I saw dozens and dozens of pickup trucks with explicatives (sic) against Joe Biden on the back of them, Trump flags, and some cases, just dozens of American flags. Which is also just disturbing, because essentially the message was clear. It was, ‘This is my country. This is not your country. I own this.’”

She got all that from seeing the American flag?

“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... American flags on Long Island... Pickup trucks plastered with anti-Biden ‘explicatives’... All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.”

I’ve had my fair share of differences with Trump voters, but I’ve honestly never heard them talk about “whiteness.” Other than a handful of $#!+posters who think it’s funny to #TriggerTheLibs by being racist, Trump voters aren’t preoccupied with race at all. They don’t care what you look like, as long as you don’t say anything that’s the least bit critical of Trump. The only people who can’t stop talking about race are the libs who have driven so many people away from the Democratic Party.

And has Mara Gay honestly never seen a political bumper sticker before? It’s true that most Americans’ political philosophy is simplistic enough to fit on one, but putting a mean slogan about a politician on your vehicle is hardly new. There’s nothing more American than the little guy telling the people in power to go to hell, regardless of political party.

Every powerful Republican in my lifetime has been hanged in effigy at some point. People wrote novels and made movies fantasizing about assassinating George W. Bush. Just four years ago last week, Kathy Griffin posted that picture of herself holding up a bloody severed head with a Trump wig. And Mara Gay is worked up about a few bumper stickers and American flags?

But then, this is somebody who thinks Long Island is basically the set of Deliverance. The parochialism of New Yorkers is always funny.

Oh, and the word is “expletives,” not “explicatives.” That must be why I’ll never work for the New York Times.

Hang in there, Mara Gay. The only reason anybody ever makes fun of you is… racism.

Update: According to the NYT, Ms. Gay did not say what you just heard her say. #Journalism!

So, What Else Is Going On?

Here is a picture of Harrison Ford on the set of the next Indiana Jones film:

Here are some possible titles for the movie:

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Prunes
Indiana Jones and the Visiting Angels
Raiders of the Lost… Oh… What’s That Thing Called?
Indiana Jones and the Last Paycheck
There’s No Shia LaBeouf in This, Honest

I like to kid around here, folks, but everybody knows we’d all go see this movie even if Harrison Ford was 100 years young. Which I don’t think he is quite yet.

And I’ll make a confession here: Everybody craps all over Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but I actually thought the “nuke the fridge” moment worked. The earlier movies were an homage to ‘30s and ‘40s serials, and the fourth one updated the timeline to the schlock of the late ‘50s/early ‘60s. Of course it was ridiculous. That was the whole point. So I’m cautiously optimistic about this final installment.

And it’s gotta be the final Indiana Jones movie, right? Just look at the poor guy. Let him go out with some dignity, you fiends.

Over at Townhall, Larry O’Connor writes about “Andrew Breitbart's Triumph Over Anthony Weiner: 10 Years Later.” I still remember turning on the news to watch Weiner’s press conference and being pleasantly surprised to see Andrew standing there. My initial assumption was that he was holding his own simultaneous press conference somewhere else, pulling Obama’s old “counterprogramming” trick.

But no, Andrew just showed up where Weiner was scheduled to speak and took over the damn thing. Andrew had broken the story, and then he stood in front of a hostile press and called them out to their faces. They tried to protect the Democrat by claiming Andrew was making up the whole thing, and he stood toe-to-toe with them. It was glorious. To this day, I remain in awe of his big brass ones.

A decade later, libs still spit on the name “Breitbart.” But he owned that story and he was 100% right. Democratic Party operatives like Rachel Maddow embarrassed themselves trying to save Weiner’s career, and we should never let them forget it.

God bless Andrew Breitbart, and God bless the USA. You can’t see it, dear reader, but right now I’m waving an American flag. I hope Mara Gay will be okay.

My friend Glenn Reynolds rebuts my rebuttal to his contention that somehow the Capitol riot was not the work of Trump supporters:

It’s a good post, even though I think Treach is wrong about Trump. But here’s the thing: He can be wrong, and I can still love him. I’m a bit mystified, because he’s so good at seeing through bullshit, and he knows better than most about the corruption of the bureaucracy. But I’m not a nasty wokester, or even one of the somewhat rarer nasty non-wokesters, so I can actually still love someone who I think is wrong.

I respect and admire Glenn as well, which is why I’m equally mystified that he continues to impugn my motives in public.

My personal feelings about Trump have nothing to do with the facts. And the facts show that Trump supporters stormed the Capitol directly after he told them the election was being stolen from him. Any other spin is, as Glenn puts it, bullshit. And yes, I do see through it. Even when it’s coming from my friends.

Does that make me the “nasty wokester” in this scenario? If refusing to deny reality somehow makes me one, I’m not sure how that’s an expression of love.

I agree with Glenn about the corruption of the bureaucracy, which I do know better than most.1 That’s why I’m ambivalent about all the political wrangling with the 1/6 commission and all that crap. That’s all just theater and I don’t really care.

I’m also not going to pretend the people who stormed the Capitol weren’t Trump supporters, and I’m not going to pretend he didn’t egg them on. They were, and he did. It’s a matter of public record.

But if my friends can still love me even though I won’t tell the lies they want me to tell… whew!

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, I hope you’ll subscribe to this newsletter. If not, screaming at me might make you feel better. Plus, it’s kinda funny.

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Glenn is referring, of course, to my crippling injury at the hands of the Obama State Department and their years-long attempt to gaslight me about it. As if I’m not reminded of the whole ordeal every time I take a step. Yes, folks, I know from personal experience that government employees lie to protect themselves, no matter who gets hurt. How is that supposed to convince me that a former government employee named Donald Trump isn’t lying to protect himself, no matter who gets hurt? I find this argument thoroughly unpersuasive, but as always, I’m willing to agree to disagree.