Hunter Biden: "Stop at Top Flop Bop"
What in the covfefe does THAT mean?
It’s Friday, and I’ve had a productive but exhausting week, and now I just wanna talk about covfefe.
Remember covfefe? It was all the libs could talk about. For, like, years.
In the early days of his presidency, Trump tweeted a weird typo or brainfart or something, and Libworld went completely insane. Newspapers did deep, deep dives into what “covfefe” might mean. Late-night comics couldn’t stop talking about it. On the first anniversary of the tweet, USA Today even did a “One Year Later” retrospective.
It was a bonding experience for all the super-smart people who were still reeling from the 2016 election and couldn’t figure out how and why Hillary had failed them. It became an emblem of the #Resistance. A password. Even now, if you sneer “covfefe” in the right tone of voice in the right company, you’ll be greeted with open arms. And closed minds.
A big part of Covfefe Fever was the word’s utter inscrutability. Was Trump trying to type the word “coverage”? How the hell did he get “covfefe” from that? It’s not even a plausible misspelling of “coffee.” It was a brand new word, and the libs all loved to hate it.
I never understood the obsession with covfefe until this week, when I read the following:
Stop at top flop bop.
STOP AT TOP FLOP BOP.
What does it mean? What does it signify? What does it tell us about Hunter Biden? What does it tell us about America? What is a flop bop? Can it be stacked? Is there a bottom flop bop? Where is the world’s tallest flop bop, and what happens when you stop at it? Are there types of bops other than flop?
The meaning of “Stop at top flop bop” is simple, of course: Hunter was flying a zillion miles an hour on rock cocaine, and those were the words that came out when he tried to respond to his cousin’s heartfelt lament. It made perfect sense to him at the time, and it’s not as if that evening’s Russian hooker was proofreading his texts between naked selfies.
(You should read that Free Beacon story, by the way. The Bidens are serious scumbags, even for a political family. They’re everything the libs tell us the Trumps are, and worse. And I’ll say it again: As a libertarian, I respect Hunter’s right to party. As a small-government conservative, I demand to know how the hell he paid for it all.)
Stop at top flop bop. I’m gonna start saying it all the time. I even put it in a headline because nobody else will. It’s just fun to say. Try it:
Stop at top flop bop.
Stop at top flop bop?
Stop at top flop bop!1
“Good day to you, sir. Did you stop at top flop bop?”
“Yes indeed, my good fellow, I very much did stop at top flop bop.”
“Splendid. Safe journeys, and a stop at top flop bop to you!”
Life would be so much sweeter if everyone just took a little time out of their day to stop at top flop bop.
Etc., etc.
Meanwhile, Hunter’s dad is doing just fine. Why do you ask?
I’ve come to realize “Not a joke” is the sound of a gear slipping. Joe has forgotten where he is, who he is, and what he was saying. He needs a moment to recover, so we get “Not a joke.” Even if there’s no conceivable way anybody could possibly think it was a joke.
In other words: Stop at top flop bop.
This woman’s plea is… how you say? Heartsbreaking?
Whatever you think of her husband, you have to admire Hilaria Baldwin. The stress this woman is under right now is unimaginable, and yet she still maintains the accent.
And she’s got him wrapped around her dedo meñique:
But this is a fairly new development. As recently as 2019, Hilaria was still speaking in her normal voice:
You want to talk about power? Try nabbing a world-famous multimillionaire and convincing him, after a decade of marriage, to suddenly pretend you’re from an exotic land. Plenty of women are both hot and crazy, but she’s off the charts. That’s a Hall of Famer right there.
I’m a big Smug fan, but sometimes I hate him:
I probably would’ve thought of that one eventually. Damn it!
Remember when “Hey teachers, leave them kids alone” was an ode to individuality in the face of state-sponsored terrorists in our classrooms? Now it’s a plea to stop grownups from literally castrating an entire generation:
CORRECTION: Kids are kids. You freaks are the ones who won’t leave them be.
It goes a little something like this:
“We’ve brainwashed your child into believing he was born in the wrong body. Give us a bunch of money to permanently mutilate him.”
“No.”
“WHY ARE YOU DESTROYING HER LIFE, YOU NAZI???”
And finally, a long-distance dedication to the Associated Press, which is trying to get the public to stop using the word that’s driving them up the wall:
Besides, you don’t say the French. It’s ze French. Get it right, you fat American rednecks!
Happy Friday, and thanks for reading my newsletter. If you liked it, please subscribe this very minute. It’s only $5/month or $50/year, and it’s my sole source of income right now. You know I’m worth it, or you wouldn’t have scrolled all the way down here.
And remember, wherever you are and whatever you do:
Stop at top flop bop!
Stop at top flop bop.
Glad you're back. Fridays need a Jim Treacher lift to get the weekend going right.
"Stop at top flop bop" is good, but "Golden nude goat-woman with snake arms" could give it a run for its money.