Does AI Stand for Anti-Irish?

I was skeptical about robotic racism until it happened to me

Anti-Irish sentiment is nothing new in America. Ever since my people stepped off the boat onto Ellis Island, the Irishman has been maligned as a lazy, potato-eating papist who would sell his entire family for a single drop of whiskey. It’s an ugly legacy of hatred, and it continues to this day.

Oh, you don’t think so? You want to tell me things have changed? “Relax, the Irish have come a long way,” is that the idea?

Then explain this.

That song was generated by Suno, the hot new music AI. It’s untouched by human hands. Algorithmic bigotry. Even the machines hate us now.

And there’s plenty more where that came from. Completely on its own and with no intervention on my part, AI has generated an entire album of shameful anti-Irish filth. You can listen to it right now.

If you dare.

We Don’t Like Ireland

Emerald Showers (Irish Spring Is a Lie)

T.I.D.T.C.O.T.Y.

St. Patrick Is a Bum

St. Patrick’s Day Is for Losers

Charmless (Lucky Charms Can Duck My Sick)

It’s Even Smaller Than I Thought

Whatchu Gonna Do, Blow Up My Car?

They Sell Their Children for Whiskey

I know, right? Repulsive.

You can listen to the whole No Time for Shamrocks album here, in case anybody doubts that Hibernophobia is alive and well in America.

Now, you’re probably asking yourself the same question I am:

How is this okay?

How can an AI spew such bigoted hate speech that makes Irish-Americans feel unsafe? How can synthetic automation perpetuate this ugly legacy of bigotry?

And who’s going to answer for it?

AI doesn’t stand for Artificial Intelligence. It stands for Anti-Irish.

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Or maybe it stands for “April 1, idiots!”¹

1. But seriously, folks.

Yes, I’m making fun of the people who look for racism in everything. And yes, those songs are hilarious. I’m utterly amazed that AI is this good already.

I’m also terrified, and you should be too.

This feels like Pandora’s Box being smashed to pieces. We’re unleashing something we don’t understand, and it’s going to change everything, in ways we can’t possibly predict. It’s already tough to discern fantasy from reality, and things are only going to get worse.

Because this ain’t just a joke on April 1. Some very bad people are going to use this technology for their own ends. The powerful have always yearned to make the rest of us reject the evidence of our own eyes and ears, and now they have the means to do it.

These machines will concoct any piece of evidence you want, and they don’t know or care about the implications. They’re the perfect political operatives: sleepless, devoid of conscience, and much, much faster than us.

Not to mention the repercussions for the music industry. Mind-boggling. The AI whipped up all those songs in a few hours on a weekend, and I can’t stop listening to it. How can lowly humans compete?

Look, I know I’m just a silly blogger having a few laughs. And, also, in addition to that: I honestly don’t see how our society survives this. I’m not even kidding. Right now there’s a knot in the pit of my stomach.

Now I need to listen to some House of Pain to repent. Have a great day!