Biden Wishes They'd Build Bikes Better
Get it? Like Build Back Better?
Over the weekend, Joe Biden fell off his bike like his son falls off the wagon.
Oh, Joe’s doing just fine. Why do you ask?
Last week I said he’s too old to drive a school bus, let alone an entire country. Turns out it’s even worse than I thought.
I’m starting a petition to change the name of Rehoboth Beach to Biden Falls.
Joe does everything backwards. Wears a mask when he’s walking alone, then takes it off to talk to a group of people. Rides a bike with no problem, then falls down the moment he stops. Makes himself rich with his son’s ill-gotten gains, then destroys the economy for everybody else. Backwards.
President Van Winkle was unhurt, so it’s okay to laugh at the memes and jokes and whatnot:
For some reason, whenever I laugh at one of Joe Biden’s mishaps, libs want to talk to me about Trump. They get really angry, because Trump.
I don’t care about Trump. Trump isn’t running things anymore. Biden is screwing everything up all by himself, with no help from Trump. They really need to get over Trump already.
A lot of people say a lot of stupid things, but nobody says more stupid things than this clown:
Elon Musk isn’t abridging anybody’s free speech. You’re free to say whatever you want about him. And he’s free to pay you, or not, as he sees fit.
Why would you want those Space X-employees to take Musk’s money anyway? He’s a Nazi, now that you don’t like him anymore. It’s blood money! They’re well rid of it, right?
This whole phenomenon is baffling to me. WaPo just had to do the same thing to Felicia Sonmez because she wouldn’t stop trashing her employers. I’ve never had a job where I could insult the boss. Not in public, anyway. Where did people get the idea that they can just say whatever they want about whoever they want, even if it’s the guy who signs your paycheck?
If you know who Taylor Lorenz is, this is pretty funny:
And so is this:
HE LITERALLY HAS COVID-19 AND SHE’S SCOLDING HIM ON FATHER’S DAY. What a psychopath this woman is.
If you don’t know who Taylor Lorenz is, don’t worry. Eventually she’ll get around to doxxing you.
If you’re still a fan of disgraced comedian Louis CK even though you’re not supposed to be, now you can watch his Emmy-winning show Louie on his website. I look forward to hearing how cancel culture doesn’t exist because a millionaire can still charge money for his work.
I don’t usually do book recommendations, because I’ve turned into a dummy who doesn’t read books anymore.1 But after watching the first two episodes of the excellent new FX series The Old Man, starring Jeff Bridges and John Lithgow, I read the original novel by Thomas Perry yesterday. The basic plot is the same — CIA superspy dude steals a bunch of money from a terrorist and starts a new life under an assumed name, and 30 years later the terrorist comes after him and he has to use all his old skills to survive — but the TV series changes quite a few things around. I recommend both, though. Bridges is at least a decade older than the character in the book, but he can still kick some ass.
Not to be confused with The Old Man and the Sea, which is about fishing, I think? Haven’t read it since I was a lad.
Try to enjoy the rest of your Monday, even though it’s a Monday.
Looks like almost everybody who signed up for this AD-FREE newsletter in its first week, one year ago, has renewed. Why not be cool like they are? It’s only $5/month or $50/year, and once you do it I’ll quit bugging you about it.2
Remember bookstores? I used to walk into one of those places, buy three or four novels, and read them in the space of a week or two. I would check books out of the library all the time. Now I can go six months without reading anything that’s not on a glowing screen, typed by an idiot like me. What a dope I’ve turned out to be.
If you’ve already subscribed, I’m not talking about you. You’re one of the good ones.
Taylor Lorenz writing about tech would be like me writing about women.
Jim’s post about Taylor Lorenz made me think of the word “scold,” as in “she’s a scold.” But then a better word occurred to me: harpy. I had to look it up. Harpy: a cruel, grasping woman. I think harpy fits better.
I had no idea that subscribing would improve my vocabulary! I mean, how often do we get to accurately use “harpy?”