You Don't Have to Watch Them Lie to You
You can if you want, I guess?
SPOILER: Joe Biden lied.
No, I didn’t need to watch the State of the Union address to know that.
That’s just one of the things I’m still supposed to watch on live TV in 2023. As if something unexpected is going to happen. But it’s all just manufactured spectacle. Hours and hours of factory-made fraudulence. They put on a show so people who get paid to talk about it have something to talk about. They lie because they know they can get away with it.
You know what they can’t do, though? They can’t make me care.
The president sucks. Everything he says is a lie. Everybody knows it, especially the people who make a career of pretending otherwise.
This was kinda funny, though:
Oh, Joe Biden is doing just fine. Why do you ask?
And this:
And especially this:
Of course it’s normal. Remember Joe & Jill & Doug & Kamala?
(That’s a reference to a movie from the late ‘60s. Hey, Hollywood is still doing Star Wars sequels, and movies about Elvis, and miniseries about Watergate. I can make a reference to stuff that’s as old as I am. Leave me alone.)
I also don’t need to watch the Grammys. Or the Golden Globes. Or the Silver Spheres. Or the Brass Balls. Or any of it.
But apparently I’m supposed to be upset about this:
Hey, if the Devil didn’t want us to eat all that cake, he wouldn’t have named it after himself.
Dressing up as Satan at the Grammys is like dressing up as a turkey at Thanksgiving: It’s redundant and you look like a child. It’s about as rebellious as a pair of Wranglers with white socks. It’s as edgy as a party balloon filled with Cream of Wheat.
You imagine yourself to be a master of the dark arts, Sam Smith? What know you of Beelzebub, neophyte? You speak to one whose cradle was drenched in hellfire!
The Prince of Darkness is so passé. As a kid, I read comic books with demons in them. I ate deviled ham. I had a Darth Vader action figure. I dressed up like Dracula on Halloween. Old Scratch? More like Old Hat.
It’s like these guys think we’ve never heard of Marilyn Manson. Heck, over 30 years ago, Judas Priest was accused of using the power of Satan (and subliminal messaging) to make a couple of teenagers kill themselves. Kids today are so lazy. They want everything done for them.
Ozzy. Slayer. W.A.S.P. Even KISS! (Which stood for Kids In Satan’s Service, allegedly.) Those guys were all accused of making kids do bad stuff. The reality is, kids do bad stuff because they’re kids. People do bad stuff because they’re people.
Even Bill Cosby played that guy. And it was decades before anybody knew the Cos was actually evil in real life. The movie was all about the music industry, too. Forty years ago!
So if a fat dip$#!+ like Sam Smith wants to waddle around like some sort of lardass Lucifer, he’s not hurting anybody. The Devil doesn’t make anybody do anything. Sam Smith ate all those pizzas himself.
You know who thinks this kind of stuff is edgy and rebellious? The same sort of person who’s glad the A.I. Seinfeld show got pulled off Twitch.
Rebelling against the established order in 2023 America doesn’t mean dressing up like Satan. It means daring to laugh at a robot comedian that says the word “transgender.” It means playing the new Harry Potter game, even though J. K. Rowling dares to espouse basic human biology.
Trannies are the new Christians. And if you don’t like it, they’ll crucify you.
Well, this is depressing:
Yep, that’s Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, and Raymond Cruz, all reprising their roles from Breaking Bad for a Super Bowl ad. It was even written and directed by Vince Gilligan, creator of the show.
Okay, look. I like all those guys, and I don’t begrudge them a presumably massive paycheck for a couple days of work. It’s not as if they’re too pure to sully their art with commerce or anything. After all, they work in Hollywood. These days, even a lot of movies are just ads for other movies.
But it’s just so gross. Popcorn chips? Really? How far they’ve fallen. At least meth helps you lose weight.
Whatever you think about Justin Roiland these days, his voice is irreplaceable on Rick and Morty. I’ll bet Cartoon Network tries to replace him with something like this:
That audio was created with the Eleven Labs voice-cloning software I told you about the other day. All I did was feed the robot a YouTube video of Rick Sanchez talking for a few minutes, and now I can use his voice to say anything I want:
Again, that is not Justin Roiland’s voice. This is bad, man!
I mean, it’s fun. For now. But it’s very bad. I figure it’s better to be prepared for it than to expect anybody to stop it. Pandora’s Box just got blown to $#!+.
Hope you’re having a Humpty-Hump day, dear reader. I’m having the weirdest time right now. And I mean right this minute, as I type these words. But it’s a good kind of weird. A satisfying kind of weird. A vindicating kind of weird.
All will be revealed anon.1
That means “soon.” “Anon” has the same number of letters but twice as many syllables, which means it’s a better word. You guessed it: I’m really smart and I don’t care who knows it.
So, I hope your good news is that you finally got some sort of recompense for what the federal government's employees did to you. That would be something.
The worst thing about the SOTU is all the crappy takes on the talking head shows immediately afterwards. Former Dem congressmen telling me how reconciliatory the speech was when Ol' Joe yelled about vetos non-stop... or how inspiring it was when the guy promised to interfere in our lives more, that that was somehow the fix for economic woes. The amount of people pissing on us and telling us it's raining is off the charts these days... they don't even make an effort really.
I had forgotten "Hot Stuff" comics. I enjoyed them as a kid. Mildly funny, like Casper the Friendly Ghost, and Baby Huey. Do they even make comics like that any more? For kids?