Who's Telling Biden Not to Answer Questions?
He woulda been a good president if stuff just stopped happening
Kanye just dropped an album, war rages in the Middle East, a hurricane is hitting Louisiana, and everybody hates the president.
Welcome to 2005.
Again and again, Joe Biden keeps telling us he’s not supposed to answer questions. “They told me not to answer questions.” “I’m gonna get in trouble if I answer questions.” Over and over, the most powerful man in the free world insists he’s not the one in charge.
He did it again over the weekend:
“I’m not supposed to take any questions, but go ahead… I’m not gonna answer Afghanistan now.”
Why isn’t Joe Biden supposed to take any questions? Who’s telling him not to take questions, and what’s the rationale? (We all know the real reason: He’s an idiot. But his own aides can’t say that.) What happens to him when he disobeys? Is this sort of thing normal for a POTUS to say? Shouldn’t he be the one to decide whether or not he takes questions?
And why don’t any of these reporters want to know? Their whole purpose for being there is to ask the president questions. Shouldn’t they wonder why he’s expressly telling them he’s not “supposed to”?
If my job was to follow the president around and write down what he says, and he told me he’s not supposed to take questions, I would ask why not. Wouldn’t you?
Just kidding. Biden is a Democrat. That sort of self-righteously aggrieved hectoring is reserved for Republicans in power.
In Joe’s defense, he’s a busy guy with a lot going on right now. Just look at how he was able to multitask as he paid his respects to the 13 Marines who died because of his incompetence:
Looks like somebody’s got someplace better to be. Let’s pick it up, people, the ice cream shop isn’t open all day.
Or, as Biden said last Thursday: “I’ve got another meeting, for real.”
Some of the parents of those fallen Marines have some very harsh words for Biden, and I can’t blame them. It remains to be seen whether our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in the press will blame them. Once upon a time, long, long ago, the families of fallen American servicemen were said to have absolute moral authority in these matters. But back then, the president of the United States wasn’t a Democrat.
And how do you like our new partners in peace, the goddamn Taliban? Who are we teaming up with next, Darth Vader? Lex Luthor? Dracula?
Working with the Taliban — who Biden promised us would not be running Afghanistan, right before he handed them Afghanistan — is already paying off. Last week Biden talked tough about hunting down those other terrorists, and on Saturday came news that the US had killed two ISIS-K “planners.” But no names have been released, which is strange. You’d think they’d want us to know they got those particular terrorists, right?
That’s because the drone strike actually killed an Afghan interpreter and his family of seven children. Looks like the Biden administration really is Obama’s third term.
Now the clock is ticking down our final hours in Afghanistan, and Americans are getting left behind because this stupid old man can’t just admit he screwed it all up. The Pentagon keeps telling us how many Americans have escaped Afghanistan, because they don’t want to tell us how many of us Biden is abandoning. He would rather watch Americans get kidnapped and executed than own up to a mistake.
Joe Biden’s incompetence has already killed more people than climate change.1 How many more Americans have to die violently because of one moron’s pride?
As Noah Rothman puts it: “If you thought Americans were displeased by the way we got out of Afghanistan, wait until you see how they respond to the circumstances that force us to go back.”
As for the people of Afghanistan… good luck.
This would’ve made for a great SNL skit, if all this chaos had been the fault of a Republican.
Everything’s fine, America:
If it looks to you like that 80-year-old man dozed off while the new prime minister of Israel was talking to him, that’s only because you fell for right-wing fake news or something. Who ever heard of an elderly person nodding off in the middle of a conversation and then snapping back awake? It simply never happens. Good work, fact-checkers!2
Hey, remember those Texas Democrats who fled to DC to escape a vote they knew they were going to lose?
The only thing those dumb Texas Dems managed to accomplish was spreading COVID-19 around our nation’s capital. Good job, geniuses.
The Milk Crate Challenge is the latest stupid way Americans are trying to go viral. For some reason, the challenge involves building a staircase out of milk crates, like 50 of them, and then trying to climb it without using your hands. The crates are just stacked there, with nothing supporting them. #HoodOlympics, it’s called.
If that sounds like a good idea, just look at what happens when people try it (commentary by the great HaHa Davis):
And I thought eating Tide pods was dumb. If you need to be told not to try this at home, you’re not going to listen to me anyway.
I’ve only seen one of these videos where somebody made it the whole way up and back down. Most people get no farther than halfway before they collapse in a pile of shame and hard plastic cubes. As I’ve learned from hard experience, going down a set of stairs uses a different set of muscles than going up. And the more crates you’re standing on, the more likely they’re going to buckle under your weight. Also, as you’d think would be obvious, the whole thing is really f***ing stupid.
Have you ever stepped on a Lego? Then why would you want to fall on a bunch of giant ones?
The Milk Crate Challenge has been described as an “example of black creativity,” but the only thing these guys create is a hospital bill. TikTok has already banned it, probably because the Chinese Communist Party can’t harvest your personal data if you’re dead.
It’s still funny, though. Why should white folks be the only ones to hurt themselves on a dare?
So, Ed Asner is dead.
A disgruntled ex-subscriber left an interesting comment on Friday’s newsletter before he stomped off, and I thought I’d share it with everybody:
Really makes ya think!
Watching the first new episode of See on Apple+ since 2019 — or 1 BC (Before Covid) — I was reminded of those Marvel shows that popped up on Netflix a few years back. Every episode had lots of boring, convoluted plot stuff, punctuated with some really great fight scenes. Maybe I made that connection because Daredevil is blind, and this show is set in a post-apocalyptic America where almost everyone is blind.
I can’t really recommend the show because it’s very boring when the blind people aren’t killing each other, but I do respect the amount of thought they put into depicting a world where nobody can see. If everybody had to learn hand-to-hand combat using only their other four senses, it might look something like this. If mankind managed to survive centuries of sightlessness, any tribal society they reassembled out of the wreckage of the old world might turn out like this. Unfortunately, after watching an episode, I feel like centuries have passed.
Thanks for reading. Now please read these buttons and do what they say. You do not want to displease the buttons.
See, because even if only one person had died in this completely botched withdrawal from Afghanistan, it would be more people than climate change has killed.
No, seriously, that’s the Reuters “fact-check”: Biden couldn’t have fallen asleep because he was awake 20 seconds later. That’s how desperate they are to salvage something from this clown’s utterly failed presidency.