When It Comes to Vaccine Mandates, Black Lives Matter Agrees with... TUCKER CARLSON?!?
Confused libs are your best entertainment value
On Monday I asked a good question, if I do say so myself: Is the Coronavirus Stronger Than White Guilt? Because right now there are two mutually exclusive narratives battling it out in the minds of our liberal friends: 1) If you’re against vaccine mandates, you’re a white supremacist, and 2) Vaccine mandates are racist.
After three Texas women assaulted a restaurant hostess in NYC last week because she was enforcing vaccine rules, I thought it was amusing that so many libs assumed the attackers were privileged white Trump voters. They heard the word “Texas,” and that’s the only piece of information they needed to draw a conclusion. After all, everyone on the news is always telling us anti-vaxxers are MAGA-heads, right? They’re used to wearing masks at their Klan rallies, yeah?
But then it turned out those violent anti-vaxxers are black. Whoops!
So now, one stupid, misinformed narrative is crashing headfirst into another stupid, misinformed narrative:
The Black Lives Matter (BLM) Greater New York chapter plans to protest Monday evening outside a Manhattan restaurant in support of the women accused of attacking a hostess who demanded they show proof of a COVID-19 vaccination…
BLM Greater New York is taking the side of the arrested women, arguing that the COVID-19 vaccine, which is mandated for dining indoors in New York City, is being used as a political tool against Black people.
Well, isn’t that a pickle? Every liberal in good standing knows that if you oppose vaccine mandates, you’re just a bloodthirsty ghoul who wants kids and grandmas to die and the South to rise again. And every liberal in good standing also knows that disagreeing with a black person, about anything at any time for any reason, is racist. What to do, what to do?
Here’s what those dummies at the Really American PAC are doing:
If Tucker Carlson is a murderer for opposing vaccine mandates, what does that make BLM supporters who oppose vaccine mandates? Where’s the goofy video about them? Are these Democrat political action committees so afraid of being called racists that they won’t save these misguided African-American anti-vaxxers from themselves?
I don’t believe vaccine mandates are racist. I also don’t believe vaccine mandates are American. You should be able to refuse for any reason, no matter how ridiculous. It’s not up to anybody else to tell you what to put in your body, and the more they try to coerce you, the less you should trust them.
Yes, I’m vaccinated. No, it’s nobody’s business but my own.
So I stand with BLM on this one. Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is still the right thing.
Guess that’s just my white privilege talking! 🤷🏻♂️
In case you’re still confused about the rules of this pandemic, it’s simple: There aren’t any.
The wealthy and powerful can pack into an “event deck” and celebrate their TV shows about soccer or whatever, and it’s fine. But as for all you peasant scum out there, you’d better teach your toddler how to eat applesauce with a mask on so he doesn’t go viral on your next plane trip.
Although I do have to give credit to the normally execrable Seth Rogen, who at least pointed out the absurdity of it all: “They said this was outdoors. It is not. They lied to us... Why is there a roof? It’s more important that we have three chandeliers than to make sure we don’t kill Eugene Levy tonight.” I assume that was the only funny joke in the entire three-hour ceremony, or I would’ve heard about the others by now.
Let’s hope nobody gets sick from going to the Emmys this year. Then what’ll they have to scold the rest of us about?
Oh, sure, Joe Biden is doing fine. Why do you ask?
“THANK YOU, THANK YOU, LET’S GO, THANK YOU, LET’S GO!!!” Why even have reporters at these things if you’re not going to take questions?
Because even if Biden were mentally competent to answer their questions, he wouldn’t have any acceptable answers. His presidency is in free-fall, and the only thing his aides can do is try to cover it up. He’s a tired old man, everything he touches turns to $#!+, and you’d better get used to the sound of “President Harris.”
And once again, imagine if this were Trump aides shouting reporters out of the room. Jim Acosta once made an international incident out of somebody grabbing his microphone. And of course, his fellow journos made him out to be some sort of victim.
BTW, if you hadn’t heard, Hunter Biden’s laptop is real. Putin didn’t plant it at a computer repair shop less than five miles from Joe’s house in Delaware. It’s all real, and it’s all true.
Hey, so, uhhhhh… what’s goin’ on with Bill Gates? What’s this all about?
Damn, Gates did a total Nathan Thurm there:
Gates’ brain crashed like Windows 95. He just locked up. He’s always been a huge weirdo, so maybe it’s just that.
Maybe.
I am utterly disgusted that Norm Macdonald is dead and all these people are still alive.
No, I will not be checking out Seth Meyers’ interview with John Kerry, or his interviews with anyone else. I haven’t watched any of those idiots in years, which saves electricity, which saves the planet.
Those seven people have a collective carbon footprint bigger than some countries. If they really wanted to do something for the climate, they’d demolish their mansions and go live in caves, far away from any cameras. That would help not only the global climate, but the political climate. And it would be the funniest thing any of them ever did.
Do you think Johnny Carson gave a fork-in-the-road about the environment? If he did, he never bothered anybody else about it. He was a professional.
Speaking of outdated notions of comedy, my pal Bill Ryan1 has a piece at Decider.com about Eagleheart, Chris Elliott’s bizarre parody of Walker: Texas Ranger. I caught the show a few times when it premiered on Adult Swim 10 years ago, but I never really followed it. Sounds like the later seasons got seriously weird, so it might be worth revisiting on HBO Max.
The more ruthlessly Disney exploits the Star Wars franchise, the more I wish the original movie had bombed in 1977. In some alternate 2021, you’d catch Luke and Obi Wan and the gang on Turner Classic Movies at 2 in the morning, and you’d say, “Man, this is such a fun, goofy, exciting flick. Too bad it never made any money. That Han Solo cat was great! I think I saw him on an episode of The Fall Guy, too bad he never made it.” Star Wars would still be the same movie, but it wouldn’t be saddled with all this toxic fandom and corporate groupthink.
It’s also the best movie in the franchise, because you don’t need to see any of the other movies to understand what’s going on. It’s perfect. Put it in a time capsule all by itself and let future generations forget what we did to it.
The more you learn about the making of Star Wars, the more you realize that it changed cinematic history in spite of George Lucas. The original cut of the film was a disaster, and his then-wife Marcia saved it in the editing room. She rearranged whole scenes, fixed the pacing, added major plot points, and kept crucial crowd-pleasing moments that George wanted to cut.
Marcia Lucas salvaged a disaster and turned it into the phenomenon that’s been beloved since Jimmy Carter was president. So when she bashes the sequel trilogy, I’m listening:
“I thought, You don’t get the Jedi story. You don’t get the magic of Star Wars. You’re getting rid of Han Solo? And then at the end of this last one, they have Luke disintegrate. They killed Han Solo. They killed Luke Skywalker. And they don’t have Princess Leia anymore. And they’re spitting out movies every year.”
That’s from Marcia Lucas’ foreword to the new book Howard Kazanjian: A Producer's Life. She also hates Rey — “This female, who's supposed to have Jedi powers, but we don't know how she got Jedi powers, or who she is” — and she didn’t like the prequels either. A woman after my own heart!
Fanboys will claim she’s just bitter about her ex-husband’s mind-boggling financial success, but it sounds to me like she genuinely loves the original movie and she’s sad that it’s turned into such a cynical cash-grab. She created a work of art, and now it’s just a big pile of Bantha crap.
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Well, we’re acquaintances. I wouldn’t help him move furniture or anything. And I certainly wouldn’t loan him any money. “Pal” or “buddy” or “friend,” they’re just words, we’re all adults here.
Several years ago, I had the pleasure of squiring Chris Elliott around the Texas Book Festival to support the launch of his send-up of The Alienist, The Shroud of the Thwacker. He was a real pro and a great gentleman, and it was impossible not to have a riotously good time at the late-night showing of Cabin Boy. He's the sort of artist you want to support just because he's such a good guy.
Also, you should help even casual acquaintances move furniture, if they ask you. It’s the neighborly thing to do.