Week Sauce (4/27)
Weekend immune system
Welcome to Week Sauce, where I post some jokes I wrote about the past week’s news for whatever reason. Enjoy!
Isra Hirsi, daughter of Ilhan Omar, claims she’s homeless after getting suspended from Barnard College over the Columbia University protests.
No word yet from Hirsi’s mother, father, or Uncle Ahmed, but we look forward to hearing from them both.
Lauren Sanchez, fiancée of Jeff Bezos, has revealed she still suffers the effects of childhood dyslexia.
In fact, until recently she thought it was pronounced “Toe box.”
Scientists now claim most animals are sentient, including insects.
I don’t want to sound skeptical, but is “sentient” even a word?1
A man named Matt Barr claims to have “Britain’s biggest penis,” measuring over 12 inches fully erect.
And here I thought this was England’s biggest dick.
Several retailers, including Walmart and Dollar General, are eliminating automated checkout aisles to prevent theft.
I don’t get it. Why would anybody steal a self-checkout machine?