Week Sauce (4/13)
Weekend immune system
Welcome to Week Sauce, where I post some jokes I wrote about the past week’s news for whatever reason.1 Enjoy!
O.J. Simpson has died at 76.
When reached for comment, the ghost of Johnny Cochran remarked, “We’re in the same basket, ‘cause we both sleep in caskets.”
In the Netherlands over the weekend, Greta Thunberg was arrested twice in one day for protesting in front of The Hague.
Now those are some globes I’d like to warm up! What? She’s 21 now.
French Olympic diver Alexis Jandard slipped and fell off the diving board during the opening of a new aquatic center in Paris.
I’m just glad those guys are finally taking regular baths.
According to the leader of Britain’s biggest teaching union, parents should buy “dumb phones” to protect their children from social media.
Whenever I want to try a dumb phone, I just call this guy.
Former DNC chair Donna Brazile is lamenting that when Joe Biden talks, nobody listens.
Well, when most people his own age see him coming, they quickly turn off their hearing aids.
Mayor Pete says crime in DC isn’t actually a problem because he can safely walk his dog.
And if you don’t believe him, just ask his bodyguards.