Trump Didn't Clear the Rioters Out of Lafayette Park, But It Would've Been Fine If He Had
He's not ALWAYS wrong
Trump fans get mad at me because I criticize him when he’s wrong, but they don’t give me any credit for defending him when he’s right.1 Or when he’s… not all that wrong.
For example, a year ago I thought it was ridiculous that journos screamed about Trump holding up a Bible in front of St. John’s Church near the White House, while ignoring the fact that rioters had tried to burn down that very church less than 24 hours before.
Sorry, but trying to burn down a church is way worse than standing in front of it with a Bible, no matter how much you hate the guy. I tend to find such details relevant, which is why both journalists and MAGA-heads find me so annoying.
The journos all screamed that Trump was a fascist for sending in the cops to clear out Lafayette Park so he could do a photo op, both of which I thought were bad ideas but also didn’t make him the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler. Now it turns out only one of those things was a bad Trump idea, because he wasn’t the one who ordered the park cleared in the first place.
A government watchdog concluded that then-president Donald Trump did not order police to clear protesters in order to stage a photo op during last summer's Black Lives Matter protests, a claim Joe Biden and Kamala Harris parroted at the time.
The Interior Department's inspector general said in a report released Wednesday that U.S. Park Police cleared protesters from Lafayette Park so that a contractor could erect fencing in order to protect federal property and police officers. Police planned to build the fence hours before learning Trump would walk from the White House through Lafayette Square to give a speech outside St. John's Episcopal Church.
Oh. Okay. Well, never mind then. Carry on, J-school geniuses!
So, What Else Is Going On?
We all know it’s sexist to refer to DOCTOR Jill Biden without her honorific. She’s an accomplished woman, according to her, and we must all give her the respect she imagines she’s earned. But did you know DOCTOR Biden is actually the president of the United States?
At least she seems to think so:
What is she “prepping,” the seating chart? Her job is to stand next to the president and smile, nod, shake hands or bump elbows or whatever we’re doing these days, etc. That’s it.
I mean, what is this?
Why is she talking?
Bill Burr nailed this one years ago. The First Lady didn’t get elected to anything. She’s not even the VP, although that would be hilarious. If DOCTOR Biden wants to run for president, she should go for it. Maybe she’ll do better than Hillary Clinton. She could hardly do worse. Until then, nobody voted for her, so she needs to zip it.
And that’ll go for the First Gentleman too, whenever that happens. (Sorry, Bill.) He can keep his piehole shut as well. I barely care what the actual POTUS has to say to me, so why should I care about his or her spouse?
Oh, and did you know Twitter now labels the official @FLOTUS account “United States government official”? Since when? What exactly has DOCTOR Biden done to earn that title?
Maybe DOCTOR Biden feels like she has to fill in for her husband because his mind is going:
Most jokes aren’t true, but most lies aren’t jokes.
And just to complete the First Family’s stellar week, it turns out Hunter Biden is in the habit of using the N-word with other white dudes he thinks are his friends. If you or I got caught doing that, our lives would be ruined. We’d be #cancelled. But nobody cares when Hunter does it, because he’s a Democrat and so are 99% of the journos.
Still funny, though!
I’m not even sure where to start with this 6,000-word profile of Yashar Ali. If you don’t know who he is, you shouldn’t bother reading it. If you do know who he is, you absolutely must.
Emilia Clarke, AKA Daenerys the Crazy Dragon Wrangler from Game of Thrones, has now written a comic book. Well, more accurately, she told her dumb ideas to a comic-book writer she hired and then slapped her own name on it so it’ll sell. It’s called M.O.M.: Mother of Madness, and it sounds really good. Matt Donnelly, Variety:
“M.O.M.” is centered on Maya, a busy single parent whose life is upended by the discovery of superpowers…
Another key identifier for the character is that all of her powers manifest from her menstrual cycle.
“The bloating, the hair growth, the mood swings, the [acne], all of it. We hate that when it happens, speaking for myself and everyone I’ve ever met who has had a period. What if we turned that around and made the period something that we can feel as this unique, crazy, superhuman thing that happens in our body? When Maya is scared, she goes invisible, when she’s angry, she has superhuman strength. She can swing like Spider-Man from her armpit hair,” Clarke says.
A superhero who gets her powers from her period? I dunno, sounds spotty.
It’s not the weirdest superhero idea I’ve ever heard. A few years ago there was a comic called Buzzkill, about a hero who gets his powers from drinking alcohol. The more he chugs, the stronger he gets. When he’s three sheets to the wind, he’s basically Superman but he can’t remember any of it the next day. Which sounds a lot like my own drinking days, in that I tended to stumble around in my underwear spouting bad dialogue.2
Anyway, point is, comics are mostly stupid and “My period gives me superpowers” is no worse an origin story than “A radioactive spider bit me” or “I was rocketed to Earth as a baby” or “I led my parents down a dark alley.” Whatever works.
Plus, it’s a natural fit because comic books and menstruation both show up at the same time every month and make everybody miserable.
In other comics news, Substack — this very website! — is branching out into comics publishing. I guess it’s possible this won’t be a disaster for comics creators? Just imagine if the current Internet had existed back in the ‘60s. It would’ve been so much easier and more efficient for Stan Lee to rip off Jack Kirby.
Speaking of females, it’s now illegal in Canada to speak of females. A Vancouver man was arrested for calling his daughter “my daughter.” That’s because the child believes she’s a boy and now everybody else has to go along with it or they’re literally criminals. The transgender zealots have learned from totalitarians throughout history: The best way to convince everyone of your ideology is to throw dissenters in jail.
I feel bad for the poor guy, but at least they’ll come up with a good rant about it on Letterkenny. “You’re misgenderin’ your child the other dayyyyyyyyy…”
Disgraced former Congresswoman Katie Hill is plotting a comeback, apparently. The Los Angeles Times devotes almost 1,300 words to it, without ever mentioning why Hill resigned in the first place. (It wasn’t because of any nude photographs, no matter how skillfully Hill has painted herself as the victim.) The article, by staff writer Seema Mehta, reads like a press release because it is. If Mehta is auditioning for a comms job, I hope she’s ready for all the overtime activities she’ll have to perform for Katie Hill.
And if that seems unfair, just read this.
The other day, Media Matters published a complete lie about a Republican. Which I know is nothing new — they lie about anybody they see as an enemy, and they even lied about me when I got hit by a car — but the weird thing is that for once they retracted it.
It’s a start, I guess. Hey guys, how about retracting the lies you told about me? It’s never too late.
The woman you’re about to hear is an Ohio doctor(?) named Sherri Tenpenny. And she’s appropriately named, because she just dropped a dime on the shadowy conspiracy to use vaccines to turn you into Magneto.
“Right now we’re all kind of hypothesizing. I mean, what is it that’s actually being transmitted that’s causing all of these things? Is it a combination of the protein, which now we’re finding has a metal attached to it? I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures all over the Internet of people who’ve had these shots, and now they’re magnetized. They can put a key on their forehead, it sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick.”
Also: 5G towers exist, and so do vaccines. Coincidence???
I got vaccinated because I was tired of living in fear. Now I can’t walk through the kitchen without getting stuck to the fridge. Save me, Dr. Tenpenny!
On a related note, you should follow @MidnightMitch on Twitter right now:
I’d ask Fauci what he thinks about this, but he’s too busy descending into megalomania.
If you liked what you just read, please click the button that says “Subscribe now.” If you didn’t like what you just read, please click the button that says “Leave a comment.”
I’d like to think that’s one of the things separating me from the Bill Kristols and Jennifer Rubins and Lincoln Projects of the world. A strike doesn’t magically become a ball just because I don’t like the pitcher. (“I agree, cuck: You have no balls!”) Also, unlike most Republicans who won’t kiss Trump’s ring or anything else on his person, I’m going broke. If my goal was to get rich, I’d find out what people want to hear and just say that. Instead, I’m dumb enough to keep telling you what I actually believe. Trust me, these days I’m not thrilled about it either.