Rock Isn't Dead, It's Convalescing in Australia

G'day

Okay, so my headline is a bit unfair. There are some good North American rock bands out there in 2024. But our music industry doesn’t really care about them. Looking at the Billboard Hot 100, it’s all hip-hop and country and whatever a “Chappell Roan” is.¹ I’m sure all that stuff is simply terrific, but I don’t want to listen to it.

I’m an old person, and I wanna rock! And I want it to be a band I’ve never heard of before.

American radio and TV stopped catering to me years ago, but the YouTube algorithm still knows what I want. And for whatever reason, most of it is coming from Down Under.

Let’s start with a current Aussie band that some Americans may have heard of. They’re from Melbourne, and they’ve got the worst name I’ve ever heard: King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard.

What? Yuck!

Fortunately, their music is as good as their name is bad. And even if you don’t like the quality, you can’t deny the sheer quantity. They’ve released 26 studio albums in the past 12 years, and no two songs I’ve heard from them sound the same: garage rock, prog rock, psychedelic, thrash metal, whatever. They just kinda do whatever they feel like, and the fans can either roll with it or not. They don’t care.

King Gizzard’s latest album seems to be some sort of early ‘70s throwback, and I like it:

Yeah, I’m not sure what that’s all about either. Does that crazy old man want them to crash or something? I dunno. Bouncy, though, ain’t it?

Another Melbourne band that’s made some inroads in America is Amyl and The Sniffers. They’re more of a straight-up punk band, with a boisterous lead singer who doesn’t mind getting her kit off. Is that how you say it?

Okay, she’s not the most technically gifted vocalist you’ve ever heard, but you can’t fault her energy. Kinda reminds me of X-Ray Spex. And I like that the other guys don’t mind showing off their blubber. Hey, they’re in Australia and it’s like 97 degrees on Christmas Day. Who needs a shirt?

And now for something completely different. Also from Melbourne, but with a completely different sound and look and stage presence: Glass Beams.

Once you get past the crazy masks and androgynous, beige-forward stage attire, their sound is hypnotic. Sort of a psychedelic/Bollywood thing. No lyrics, just wordless vocals. And man, they’re tight as hell. Just perfect.

If you like Sia, who never shows her face onstage, you won’t be surprised that she’s a Glass Beams fan. What is it about watching a band perform without being able to see their faces? That’s how Kiss made it big, before they took off their makeup and everybody begged them to put it back on. And bands like Daft Punk and Slipknot and Ghost have gotten a lot of mileage out of obscuring their identities.

Maybe they’re all just funny-looking in real life?

Here’s another Melbourne band with yet another entirely different sound: It Thing.

Angular, echoing post-punk, with a vocalist who reminds me of Siouxsie Sioux. What’s not to like? This video would’ve been right at home on MTV in 1983, and I can think of no higher compliment.

Alright, one last Aussie oddity, this time from all the way over in Sydney: Donny Benét.

A lot of people get so distracted by his good looks and smoldering sensuality that they don’t appreciate the music.

Seriously though, he’s half-kidding, but he’s also really good. And that’s the coolest skullet ever. No hair, don’t care!

Keep doing what you’re doing, Australia. You might be 10,000 miles away, all alone there in the middle of the Pacific, but the civilized world is watching you with great interest. Your music scene is oddly familiar, yet unique and surprisingly powerful. Much like your beloved kangaroo.

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An Oasis reunion, eh? I’ll believe it when I see it.

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Quick plug for a nasty little flick called Strange Darling, which may be at a theater near you, but probably not after this week:

There’s almost nothing I can say about this brutally subversive little thriller that won’t spoil everything, and I’m worried even saying that much is a spoiler.

You may be able to catch this in a theater for the next few days, but if not, keep an eye out for it on streaming. Two of the best performances I’ve seen in years, and… ugh, I can’t say it without spoiling it. Just see this movie any way you can.

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I’m sure I’ll get back to boring political crap next time. I just needed a break today. Thanks for understanding.

1. Just kidding, I know who Chappell Roan is. She’s the pop singer who’s always complaining about her sudden fame. Which reminds me of John Lydon’s advice to a whiny George Michael 30 years ago: “If you don’t want to be a pop star anymore, stop being one.”