Remember When Biden Said He Had #OilCancer?
"That's why I and so damn many other people I grew up (sic) have cancer"
It’s been five days since Joe Biden said he got cancer from an oily windshield.
And it’s been four days since the journos claimed we all just “misinterpreted” what Biden clearly said.
From FactCheck.org:
On July 20, President Joe Biden spoke about what his administration has done to tackle climate change. During the speech, Biden blamed Delaware oil refineries for causing his bout with cancer in the past and high cancer rates in the state…
White House physician Dr. Kevin O’Connor released a health summary for Biden in November 2021 that confirmed that he had skin cancer that was removed before he became president — though O’Connor linked Biden’s cancer to sun exposure, not Delaware oil refineries.
Yeah, that’s kind of the sticking point, isn’t it? He didn’t say he got skin cancer from sun exposure. He said he got it by living near those oil refineries. As the great Jon Gabriel would put it: This isn’t a fact-check, it’s crisis comms.
As you may have noticed, none of our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in the press are hounding the president of the United States to explain what he meant. Biden was saved by the bell, and by “bell” I mean COVID-19.
It’s good to be a Democrat. Even though Biden is the most unpopular president since they started measuring such things — yes, even more unpopular than that guy — he still has an army of janitors cleaning up his messes. They call themselves journalists.
I’m with Kat Timpf on this one:
I really want to know how Biden thinks he got cancer from those oil refineries. Was he licking the windshield wipers on his dad’s car? Did he swim in an Olympic-sized pool of crude oil every day? How does he imagine it happened?
But they’ve all just dropped it, because there’s only one answer: The president has lost what little was left of his mind.
What would we do without journos?
BREAKING NEWS: It’s July in North America.
The robots have had enough of our crap and they’re fighting back. This happened last week at a chess tournament in Russia:
The dirty Russkis are blaming that poor kid for “violating safety rules.” Excuse me? He’s seven years old! How about building a robot that doesn’t break a child’s finger for being excited about chess? Goddamn commie bastards.
I went to the San Diego Comic-Con a few times in the ‘90s, back when it was just starting to transform into what it is today. It used to be a meeting place for comics fans and pros to network and gossip, but now it’s just a dumping ground for giant entertainment corporations. Every year, they roll out their upcoming genre junk that we’ll all forget 10 minutes after seeing it.
If you had told me 20-odd years ago that Marvel would become one of the biggest brands in the world, cranking out a stultifying number of movies and TV shows, I wouldn’t have believed you. And if you’d shown me this, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to:
Look, I’m just gonna say it: I’m dreading this. The Marvel streaming shows have been competent at best (I kinda liked Moon Knight?), and the CGI is giving me uncanny valley vibes. It’s almost there, but not quite. Making an artificially generated character throw cars around is one thing, but a photorealistic humanoid tossing out wisecracks requires much more precision.
Maybe the jokes will work better when they’re not all crammed into a trailer like this. Tatiana Maslany is very talented, and I’m sure everybody worked really hard on this, but all I can do is cringe.
Who is the audience for this? Are feminists going to watch a giant green lawyer in a skirt? Will children get any of the jokes? Will nerds like me appreciate being scolded for liking the Hulk in the first place?
And then there’s the whole Mary Sue aspect of it. Of course she’s better at Hulking than the literal Hulk is. Yaaaaas green!
One thing I did kinda like was the fourth-wall break. A lot of dorks will say they’re just ripping off Deadpool, but in the comics, She-Hulk was directly addressing the audience way back in the ‘80s. She even tore through the pages of her own comic to yell at the reader:
That was years before Rob Liefeld ripped off DC’s Deathstroke and called him Deadpool. If you have no idea what the previous sentence means, you’re better off and I envy you.
She-Hulk premieres on Disney+ this August 17, and I can’t wait to be called a misogynist for the mildest criticism whatsoever. Hooray for 2022.
Today is Monday, and you know what that means: It’s Better Call Saul day!
I honestly don’t know what’s next, and that’s the fun of it. We only know two things about these last four episodes: 1) Walter White, Jesse Pinkman, and a new character played by Carol Burnett(!) will show up, and 2) Gene is going to “fix” his problem with Jeff the creepy cabbie himself, instead of disappearing again with the help of Ed the vacuum-cleaner guy. (Robert Forster, R.I.P.)
I don’t really care about Walt and Jesse. That’s what everybody’s been clamoring for, but we already saw that whole story. We know how it turns out. I wanna know what happens to Gene. Somehow it will involve donning a bright red blazer over his Cinnabon-issue polo shirt and adopting, as Bob Odenkirk puts it, “yet another iteration of Jimmy”:
I guess he’s gonna start a stampede at Nordstrom or something.
And then Jimmy/Saul/Gene/Whoever… pulls off one last scam? Teams up with Kim again? Dies in a hail of gunfire? Does the red indicate the return of the garishly attired Saul, saving the day one last time? Or does it symbolize the bloody end of Slippin’ Jimmy McGill?
Who knows? I sure don’t.
Yay!
David Warner, R.I.P.
Hope you’re having a good day, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. Thanks for reading these words. You’ll see me tomorrow.
Well, Happy Monday Garfield!
I'm past the point of trusting almost all the "mainstream" press. The guy says he "has" cancer, "from" the oil refineries, and the press turns around and lies to your face. The Kat Timpf click was worth it.
And "Yaaaaas green!" made me laugh. I gotta get "Saul" so I can go back and read your critiques.
"#OilCancer"
Kat Timpf is hilarious.