Old Man Yells at Mushroom Cloud
Maybe Grandpa Joe Should Stop Rambling About Nuclear War
Okay, this one requires a couple of soundbites to set the stage. The first is from 10 years ago this month:
“Governor Romney… a few months ago, when you were asked what’s the biggest geopolitical threat facing America, you said Russia. Not Al-Qaeda. You said Russia. And the 1980s are now calling to ask for their foreign policy back.”
How’s that one workin’ out, Barry?
And the other embarrassing piece of audio is from just two days ago:
“No one [deals unfairly or harshly] with a Biden.”
Okay? Get those two ideas squared firmly in your mind: 1) Russia is not a problem because the Democrats are in charge, and 2) Nobody would ever dare to mess with Biden.
And now, observe as the oldest president in American history squats astride the punchbowl and drops this big ol’ turd:
“We have not faced the prospect of armageddon since Kennedy and the Cuban Missile Crisis… [Putin’s] not joking when he talks about potential use of tactical nuclear weapons or biological or chemical weapons because his military is, you might say, significantly underperforming… I’m trying to figure out, what is Putin’s off-ramp? Where does he find a way out? Where does he find himself in a position that he does not not only lose face, but lose significant power within Russia?”
Remember when Trump’s big mouth was gonna get us into World War Three?
Last week, Biden was trying to talk to dead people. This week, he’s trying to make us all dead people.
Why is the president of the United States saying this stuff in public? What is Biden’s off-ramp? How will babbling about this at a fundraiser convince Putin not to do it?
The answer, of course, is that Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. was an incredibly stupid man with diarrhea of the mouth even before he was caught in the throes of dementia. Now he’s a thousand times worse. He’ll just blurt out any old $#!+, especially if it makes life tougher for everybody else.
I hate Vladimir Putin. I also don’t want to die in a nuclear war. The Democrats need to do something about Grandpa Joe before he gets us all killed.
You might remember that Tulsi Gabbard dunked on Kamala Harris so hard during the 2020 campaign that Kamala quit the race before Iowa. But do you remember what it was about?
As a prosecutor, Kamala locked up a bunch of people for weed. Gabbard rubbed her nose in it, and it ended her campaign.
But now:
I’m all for correcting historical injustices and so forth, and I’m fine with legalizing the ganj. If this is the first step toward that, fine. But this sort of rhetoric is a bit rich, coming from one of the worst perpetrators of those injustices.
Nobody’s gonna throw you a parade for not being a narc anymore, you fascist!
Don’t get your hopes up, guys:
I’ll believe Hunter Biden is in trouble when he’s behind bars. Until then, I’ll just assume these corrupt bastards will keep letting him get away with it, because that’s how power works.
Electric cars are going to solve all our problems. Everything will be great once we get rid of our gas-guzzlers. Right?
Whoops!
I’ve known Mary Katharine Ham since we worked together at the Daily Caller, and she’s one of my favorite people. She and Tucker Carlson and everybody else at the Caller helped me out a lot after my accident, and I’ve never forgotten it.
So it burns me up that CNN has been screwing her over, as she writes about here:
Mary Katharine is worth 100 Jeff Zuckers. And about 1,000 Andrew Kaczynskis. What CNN has done to her is wrong.
We keep hearing about how Chris Licht wants to turn CNN around. Well, making things right with MKH would be a good start. Put her back on TV. Hell, give her a show. It’d be the only thing on CNN I’d ever bother to watch anymore. What have they got to lose? At this point, their ratings can’t get much lower.
I don’t even know what to say about this voter outreach program. It must be seen to be believed:
Seems pretty racist to say black men are basically animals who need to be led around by their dongs, but what do I know? I’m probably just another white supremacist.
Right now, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is in the same place that the comics were in the ‘70s. After the first decade, with that initial rush of creative energy and amazing success, things are starting to peter out. The whole enterprise is losing focus. The people behind the scenes are getting tired, and now they’re just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks.
So I’m happy to report that Werewolf By Night on Disney+ really sticks!
It won’t hurt to have a passing familiarity with the ‘70s Marvel horror characters — a werewolf named Jack Russell (seriously), the Bloodstone family, Man-Thing1, etc. — but you don’t really need to know anything about any of them. It’s a perfect little standalone, a 50-minute chunk of action/horror/comedy fun, and it’s the best thing Marvel has released since Tony Stark snapped his fingers.2
With apologies to Gene Shalit: Werewolf By Night is fang-tastic!
TGIF (Torvald Got Incredibly Funky), and thanks for reading. If you like my writing, please help me pay my bills with it. You’re the only one who can! A subscription is only $5/month or $50/year, and it’ll get rid of that nagging feeling that you’re a damn freeloader.
If you’ve already subscribed, there’s nothing stopping you from hitting the tip jar as well. They don’t want you to, but since when have you let them tell you what to do?
That’s right, there is a Marvel character named Man-Thing. There was even a comic called Giant-Size Man-Thing. Yes, really. Not to be confused with DC’s Swamp Thing, although the two monsters premiered within months of each other in the early ‘70s. No, I’m not proud of knowing this stuff.
I don’t hate She-Hulk as much as the rest of the toxic males, but I lost interest after the first 3 episodes. This week they’re finally bringing in Daredevil, the star of the best Marvel show ever, but I just don’t feel like watching it. That’s probably sexist of me.
Re that voting... thing: one of the good things about getting older is that I have no flippin' clue who Trina or Saucy Santana are, and I feel blessed.
It is impossible to get me to care about Marvel or DC any less than I already do, I don't care how many flaccid man-things you dangle in front me. I din't like the whole superhero genre in it's heyday, and I ain't about to start any time soon. The only Super Hero show I watched, they completely botched; The Punisher. Oh, there were flashes of brilliance. The casting of Jon Berthal was spot-on, but it was badly written. I wanted The Punisher to, you know, *punish* the occasional baddies. There just was not enough PUNISHING for my taste, too much about a great conspiracy arc. If I was writing it (and, really, I'm a duck so what the hell do I know about running a show?) I woulda had Frank Castle wander the roads of America, stopping in one town or another, letting trouble find him and then, get this, punishing the everliving F**K out of rando's.
Anyways, what else ... oh, yeah, "no mean tweets!" That's what I will be saying while the great radioactive cloud of death wafts over the cascade mountains and descends on my patch of land in Central Oregon... "there were no mean tweets, everyone! I repeat: *No* *Mean* TWEETS!!!!!!"
Without reservation or wavering, I 100% support and stand with MKH. She is brilliant and insightful, and she taught me how to fold a fitted sheet. That alone should win her a Nobel Prize or something. Plus, her husband met his demise on the bicycle, doing what he loves, and I know that Mary hurts with his loss, but she soldiers on faithfully. I know I've been close, very close, to being nothing but a memory to everyone, and I know Mrs. Duck fears she'll get that "phone call" or knock on the door every time I swing a leg over my TrailDonkey 3.1.