CNN Gets the Zuck Out

Is it possible to OD on schadenfreude?

Last December, when CNN fired Chris Cuomo at least one year too late, I said this:

If Cuomo can prove Zucker knew about all of [the unethical behavior of the Cuomo brothers] all along, which I assume is true, that is going to be DEE-LISH. Everything that’s wrong with CNN today can be traced back to that one man… I find myself in the unusual position of rooting for Chris Cuomo as he tries to bring down CNN. If there’s a way they can both lose, that would be optimal.

Hey, guess what?

Fox News @FoxNews

BREAKING: Jeff Zucker out as embattled @CNN boss after 'consensual relationship' with staffer was not disclosed, 'I was wrong,' he wrote in memo shared by @brianstelter

foxnews.comJeff Zucker out at CNN after failing to disclose ‘consensual relationship’ with colleague: ‘I was wrong’Jeff Zucker has announced his resignation from CNN

Matthew Belloni @MattBelloni

Potentially important: I’m told CNN received a litigation hold letter recently from Chris Cuomo lawyers, demanding, among other things, preservation of all communications between Zucker, comms chief Allison Gollust, and Andrew Cuomo.

Allison Gollust is the woman Zucker had a “consensual relationship” with, and apparently she was in line for his job. And before Zucker hired her at CNN, she worked for — drum roll, please — Andrew Cuomo! It’s all very cozy, by which I mean incestuous.

So that would explain this whole debacle:

Christopher C. Cuomo @ChrisCuomo

You're feeling pretty good about yourself these days, aren't you @NYGovCuomo ?

At the same time the Cuomo Brothers were doing their comedy act on CNN, a lot of grandmas and grandpas in New York nursing homes were dropping dead of COVID-19, and it was all Andrew’s fault. Not to mention the long list of women he groped while he was in power, which his moronic brother tried to help him cover up. And the whole time, Zucker and Gollust were backing them.

A lot of people are ashamed of their feelings of schadenfreude, but not me. That deep, abiding satisfaction when a bad thing happens to a bad person is perfectly natural and healthy. It just means you haven’t given up on the world. It means you still have a sense of right and wrong. It means you’re alive and awake. (As opposed to woke. That’s a whole different thing.)

And Zucker’s exit from CNN is already yielding dividends of schadenfreude I never could’ve expected. Here’s just one example:

Keith Olbermann @KeithOlbermann

While most observers will place the leak that ended Jeff Zucker's career, at the feet of a vengeful Andrew Cuomo, the weird part is: anybody who knew Zucker knew about Allison Gollust. I first figured it out in 2006 or 2007.

cnbc.comCNN boss Jeff Zucker resigns, says he failed to disclose office relationship with former Andrew Cuomo aideJeff Zucker said in his resignation that he should have admitted to his relationship with CNN executive Allison Gollust during a probe of Chris Cuomo

Keith Olbermann @KeithOlbermann

I should explain that in 2015, the day ESPN announced my show there was ending, Zucker asked for a meeting - secret, of course, at the Plaza Athenee NY - to offer me an hour in prime time on CNN and brainstorm how to not make it look like Countdown. 4 days later he reneged.

Everything about this makes me happy: Olbermann’s resentment. His inadvertent admission that he knew about a big news story with enormous consequences, but kept it to himself because he feared Zucker. His obvious glee that his enemy has been toppled. And most satisfying of all, the fact that Olbermann didn’t get the job. It’s a perfect storm of schadenfreude. I actually need a minute here…