Here's Why I'm Quitting Twitter or X or Whatever
Seriously
No, I’m not quitting. That headline was just to get you to click. Ha ha, gotcha!
Once again, liberals are so stupid and insane that they’re forcing me to defend Elon Musk. Twice in one week! That’s how bad it’s gotten.1
I don’t know if it’s a delayed reaction to the election, or Musk’s weird new job in the Trump administration2, or what, but a bunch of libs suddenly decided to quit Twitter this week. And what’s the point of finally going away if they don’t make a whole big drama out of it?
You may remember this guy:
OOOOOOOHHH, SCARY!
He’s not leaving because Twitter is “toxic.” All he does anymore is spew toxins. He’s pooping in the punchbowl and then complaining about the taste.
He’s just mad that his team lost and there’s nothing he can do about it. So he’s projecting that thwarted rage onto the people he hates, and then proclaiming himself above it all.
It’s very silly. But then, our society has lavishly rewarded this man for spending most of his life in fantasy worlds of his own concoction. Why should we expect him to understand what’s happening in the real one?
There’s probably a novel somewhere about a writer who is tormented by a demon he creates for himself. A... dark half, you might say.
Then there’s distinguished journalist and women’s rights activist Don Lemon. He stomped away from Twitter so hard, it’s taken him three tweets so far:
Okay, man, we get it. How can we miss you if you won’t go away?
And then there are several others. Professional lunatic Joy Ann Reid:
Poop-yogurt saleswoman Jamie Lee Curtis:
A British band called the Last Dinner Party:
Leftist British newspaper The Guardian is no longer guarding Twitter:
Hell, even inanimate objects are getting in the game. A suspension bridge in the UK has its own Twitter account, and it just collapsed. The account, not the bridge:
That’s a stretch! And so was that joke.
WaPo columnist and Franzia enthusiast Jennifer Rubin also said she was quitting, and then she protected her account before I thought to get a screenshot of it.
None of those people have been oppressed. Nobody’s stopping them from saying whatever they want. They’re just sick of being proven wrong, over and over and over. It’s cold out there, so they’re fleeing to the shelter of their comrades.
They’re not leaving because they’re being silenced. They’re leaving because their enemies aren’t.
If free speech hurts your cause, maybe you’re not the good guys.
Meanwhile, companies like Comcast, IBM, Disney, Warner Bros. Discovery, and Lionsgate Entertainment have started advertising on Twitter again. They left after a stupid hate-speech hoax last year, but now they’re back. Apparently, they like making money more than they fear “toxicity.”
Trump’s cabinet appointments this week have ranged from “puzzling” to “bat-crap insane.” And you know what? So be it.
The winner gets to pick his own team. It’s not the end of democracy. It is democracy. Democracy means sometimes — hell, most of the time — I don’t get what I want.
I will not spend four years sputtering in outrage over every single thing this guy does. I can’t. Call it surrender, call it collaboration, call it whatever you want. I just don’t have it in me. If you do, please don’t let it twist you into something not much better than your foe.
It’s been almost 10 years, and a lot of people still don’t get it: Scolding doesn’t work against this guy. If anything, he thrives on it. I mean, look at what just happened.
And to all the people who hate me because I’ve never voted for Trump, and I reserve the right to disagree with him just like any other president…
Oh well!
Bridget Phetasy’s latest column is very good: “How the Democrats Bud Lighted Their Brand.”
Another day closer to Monday. See you then!
I’ve got some gripes with that guy myself. For one thing, I really resent his dumb feud with Substack, which prevented me from just embedding all those tweets in today’s newsletter. He chose to make his platform less functional, because of “data scraping” or something. He actually made it more difficult for me to defend him today, but I did anyway because I’m such a great guy.
The Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE. Get it? Do ya get it?
If you look up "gullible" in the dictionary, you must be about 10 years old, because who doesn't know that word. But if you do, you'll find a picture of me. I actually believed your click-bsit headline. That's twice in a row you got me. Have a good weekend!
Point of information: The 2024 Presidential election closely followed the exact plot of Steven King's The Dead Zone. In that novel, a man with the gift of foresight sees that a Presidential candidate will win and then start a global thermonuclear war, which the guy assumes will be a bad thing. He schemes to assassinate the candidate, but misses his first shot - at which point the candidate picks up a small child to use as a human shield. Before dying from police gunfire, the would-be assassin foresees that the image of the candidate holding the kid becomes the cover photo of every major magazine and newspaper and the lead story in all media, revealing him as a craven coward and dooming his candidacy. The guy dies knowing that the world is safe.
Of course, the real-world Presidential campaign in 2024 had a more shocking plot twist than anything King could have come up with: the candidate survives the assassin's bullet, but instead of cowering behind innocent people or running away, he stands up, thrusts his fist into the air, and shouts, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" And that image, complete with an American flag backdrop, becomes the cover photo of every major magazine and newspaper and the lead story in all media, cementing the voters' view of the candidate as strong, resolute, and vigorous.
I have to believe that Steven King's first thought when he heard about the shooting in Butler, PA, was, "I wonder where he found a kid to hide behind?" And I equally believe that when he saw what actually happened, his next thought was, "Aww, f@@k."