Happy 80th Birthday, Joe!
My dude is older than credit cards
On Sunday, November 20, 2022, United States President Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr. turned 80 years young. He was already the oldest person to ever serve as president of the United States, and now he’s even older. Congratulations, Joe!
It’s weird, though… The White House has barely even mentioned the happy occasion. Biden didn’t make any public appearances on his birthday, and he doesn’t really seem excited about it. Just last month, he said:
“I can’t even say the age I am going to be. I can’t even get it out of my mouth.”
Sad emoji! Granted, these days there are a number of words Joe can’t get out of his mouth. But “eighty” seems fairly easy to pronounce, right?
Contrast this with the Obama era, when each and every anniversary of the Lightbringer’s holy birth was treated with the awe and reverence he thought it deserved. Barry even had the journos talking about his “birthday week,” because 24 hours just wasn’t enough time for them to pack in all that worship.1
Eighty years is a long-ass time. Just to put it into perspective, here’s a partial list of things that didn’t exist on the day Biden was born:
Credit cards
LSD
Dialysis
The atomic bomb
Microwave ovens
Bikinis
Transistors
Velcro
The polio vaccine
Network television
A United States flag with more than 48 stars
Joe Biden is older than all that stuff, and a whole lot more.
And consider this: A person who turned 80 on November 20, 1942 — the day of Joe Biden’s birth — was born when Abraham Lincoln was still alive. Time is a bitch, ain’t it?
Not to worry, though. Our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in the press have got the president’s back in his time of need, because he’s not a Republican:
The main thing Joe Biden has going in his favor is that he didn’t just turn 90. You know it’s bad when even the NYT is like, “Well, maybe it’s not all bad.”
Happy Birthday, Mr. President. Here’s to 80 more!
By the way: Donald Trump will turn 80 on June 14, 2026. So if you’re a MAGA-head and you think Biden is too old to continue serving as president, you’ve got some serious rationalizing to do. Don’t worry, you’ll figure something out eventually.
Look what’s acceptable to report about now, a full two years after it would’ve mattered:
So Hunter Biden’s laptop is real? Like, for real real? Better late than never.
I wonder why Biden and all his enablers tried to make us believe the story was “Russian disinformation,” just a few weeks before the 2020 election? Guess we’ll never know.
And speaking of CBS News…
You know there’s a lot of drama surrounding Elon Musk’s stewardship of Twitter when even your humble newsletter-typist can’t keep track of it all.
“Twitter is going under any second!”
“Musk fired all the censors!”
“He just reinstated Trump and Kanye!”
“Panic! Stop what you’re doing right this second and panic!!!”
There’s a lot of talk about “safety” right now, which means “I don’t want to hear what this person says, and I don’t want anybody else to hear it either.” A lot of supposedly smart people with a lot of allegedly impressive credentials can’t figure out how to mute and block.
Here’s just one example of the hysteria, from the erstwhile Tiffany Network:
Uncertainty? Oh no, not that!
They made that bewildering decision on Friday evening. But by Sunday morning:
Hiatus? I’ve taken longer hiatuses between bowel movements. Although with precisely the same result.
Even the comedians are having a tough time accepting a South African weirdo taking over their favorite bird app. Here’s comedy writer David Javerbaum, who won a bunch of Emmys for The Daily Show and thought it made him literally God:
Bye, David. See you soon.
Personally, I choose to look on the bright side. For example, now that Trump’s precious Twitter account has been reinstated, all his old tweets are back up. Like this absolute banger:
Very impressive indeed. I can’t wait to give that heroic Iraq vet my vote for president in 2024.
Tee-hee!
Thanksgiving is in a few days and I don’t feel like doing anything, but I gave you another great newsletter anyway. Such is my commitment to you, dear reader. Feel free to show your appreciation by subscribing today. It’s only $5/month or $50/year. ‘Tis the season to give thanks. And money!
And yes, Obama was born on U.S. soil. When he claimed to have been born in Kenya, he was lying.
I listed "credit cards" twice. LOL!
I'm not worried about Biden being old. I'm worried about him being incompetent, stupid, corrupt, and beholden to anti-American ideologies -- traits which are not universal among octogenarians, or even septuagenarians, for that matter.
I'll admit I am not an expert, but my understanding is that "natural-born citizen" does not necessarily mean "born in the US or its territories." Rather, it means "citizen from birth." A child born overseas to US-citizen-parents would himself be a US citizen. In a twist that is unusual in the rest of the world, the US also grants citizenship-from-birth to any child born on US soil, regardless of their parents' citizenship status. If Harry and Meagan pop out another one while living in LA, there will be an American citizen lurking in the line of succession to the British throne.