First of All, AOC Only *Rents* Her Gas Stove
Nice try, Republicans
Even by congressional standards, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is extraordinarily stupid and useless. She’s been in office for four long years now, and in that time she has accomplished nothing legislatively. All she does is run her mouth, pose for magazine covers, and rack up followers on social media. But Republicans should hope she never goes away and never shuts up, because she’s a goldmine of imbecilic utterances that make the Democrats sound like morons.
Here’s how AOC’s latest failure started:
Look at all those likes and retweets. What a successful congresswoman.
Assuming AOC’s assertion is correct — an assumption I don’t make, but forget it, she’s rolling — it would explain what she said next.
Anybody with an internet connection can look back at the hundreds1 of hours of video AOC has posted and see that she has a gas stove at home, which she uses while she’s babbling endlessly about whatever. But here’s why that doesn’t matter:
I do think it’s funny, the, like, absolute utter Republican meltdown. Where they’re like, “You can take my gas stove from my cold dead hands!” Or, “How dare you talk about gas stoves? You have a gas stove!” First of all, first of all, I rent. Period.
Theory: Using a gas stove makes you so stupid that you think it’s okay to use a gas stove, despite suddenly wanting to ban gas stoves, as long as you don’t own the gas stove. The deadly fumes will leave you alone because they’ve seen your rental agreement.
Second of all, though, it doesn’t even matter, because by that logic… These are the same people who would’ve said we should never have gotten rid of leaded gasoline, just because someone may have driven a gasoline car. Science evolves and gives us new knowledge with time.
If AOC has ever been given new knowledge, or old knowledge for that matter, she’s never allowed it to interfere with her many, many public proclamations.
Hang this in the Louvre:
In the meantime, our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in the press are scrambling to help the Dems sell their latest idiotic message:
“It’s not happening, you silly wingnuts. Besides, it’s for your own good!”
A week ago, nobody was talking about gas stoves. The Dems are the ones who brought up banning the damn things. They thought the issue was a winner. Then they quickly realized it isn’t, so now they’re blaming the other guys for noticing.
Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.
New Twitter Files just dropped:
If you don’t already know, the Russkies didn’t get Trump elected. Hillary accomplished that all by herself. Taibbi has even more proof that “Russian collusion” was caca del toro, and the big brains at Twitter knew all along.
Now the Dems want to pretend they never made that claim. What are they supposed to do, admit the truth? Ha!
It’s fun to watch the Biden administration scramble to lie about the three (3) batches of classified documents he took illegally when Obama left office. Joe even had that stuff in his freakin’ garage. This White House is so inept, it would be funny if they weren’t making our lives worse by the day.
The best part of this ridiculous mess is that there’s even footage of Joe’s garage from his 2020 campaign. Here’s his Corvette, and possibly the illegally obtained classified documents he stored next to it:
My garage is a mess too, but at least I’m not a felon:
Take it away, Frank!
And it gets even better: Hunter was living in the house at the time. That whoremongering crackhead had access to the classified documents in that garage, assuming he was ever sober enough to read them:
I assume there are more federal crimes to come, and I also assume nothing will happen to Joe for committing them. But who knows? Maybe the Dems are as sick of him as the rest of us, and this will be their excuse to make history. Finally, they can make Kamala the first black woman with a double-digit IQ to become president.
I have officially had enough of the gender debate.
Gaia only knows what a “queer theorist” is, but I’d love to see this guy try his act in the wrong neighborhood.
Bad news for fans of dorky cartoons that make stupid people feel smart:
I’ve been a Justin Roiland fan for almost 20 years, ever since his Channel 101 days. (Google “House of Cosbys.”) Just the sound of his voice puts a smile on my face. So I hope he’s not really a domestic abuser. But if it’s true, is it really a surprise? Morty’s grandpa Rick is a drunken sociopath who destroys everything he touches. Maybe that’s closer to home than the show’s fans ever realized.
The people we see on our screens aren’t our friends. As they keep reminding us.
Lisa Marie Presley was just a few months older than I am. And Adam Rich, the Eight Is Enough star who passed away last weekend, was just a few months younger. I grew up watching them grow up. So when you tell me they were far too young to die, I strenuously agree.2
Rich’s death was a suspected overdose. Presley was in and out of rehab for decades, so I assume her death was drug-related too. It’s just sad that they went out like that. I tend to be libertarian about these things — your body, your choice — but there’s always a price for liberty. Hard drugs are bad news.
On that happy note, have a safe and peaceful weekend. And please take care of yourself, dear reader.
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Thousands? Millions? If she’s awake, she’s yammering into a camera.
Don’t worry, I plan to stick around. I’ve been trying to clean up my act lately. Five years alcohol-free, exercising more, eating somewhat better, etc. If I was still drinking, I don’t know if I would’ve made it through the past three years. That would’ve saved you a subscription fee, assuming you’re not one of my many freeloaders, but it would’ve really sucked for me.