Well, now we know why Joe Biden didn’t give a real press conference on Afghanistan until yesterday.
After terrorists bombed the Kabul airport, killing at least 90 people including 13 American servicemen, Joe Biden didn’t show his face all day. When he did, it was one of the strangest presidential press conferences I’ve seen since… well, since the last time Biden spoke.
First of all, let’s get this out of the way: This is not the time to flash those dazzlin’ veneers, Joe.
So that was weird. I believe that’s known as inappropriate affect.
The speech he gave was labored and halting at times. He was having even more trouble speaking than usual, and when the words did flow, he just started babbling nonsensically. If this were a normal human, I’d say he’s weighed down by the guilt of bungling this so badly and then lying about it, but he’s a politician and therefore has no conscience. No, he’s just having trouble forming sentences because he’s too damn old for this job.1
He tried to talk tough, but not very convincingly:
Nobody actually believes this, with the possible exception of Biden himself, if he’s as cognitively impaired as he seems. The United States is fleeing Afghanistan at his command, and he’s been reduced to asking for permission from the goddamn Taliban. Biden got what he wanted. He surrendered. It’s over.
And now he expects us to believe he’ll do anything about this terrorist attack?
A frail old fool’s pathetic attempt at a blood oath doesn’t really square with “Who’ll be the last man to die for a mistake?” I don’t know how you pontificate about ending a “forever war” and then swear vengeance on America’s foes. How does Biden expect us to believe he’ll find these terrorists before his own arbitrary deadline of August 31?
Joe thinks he’s King Arthur, but he’s actually the other guy.
At least Biden finally took questions from reporters. Sort of:
Instructed? Who’s in charge there?
Then there was this bizarre moment:
Biden blamed Trump for his own failures, and then tried to get a reporter to blame Trump, but the reporter wouldn’t knock over the straw man like he was instructed. So then Biden sank his head in… I dunno, despair? Frustration? The urgent need for a quick nap? Who knows. But it’s not the sort of thing I want to see from the Commander-in-Chief at a time like this.
The press isn’t Biden’s enemy. The Taliban is.
Just imagine being one of these military commanders trying to tell Biden anything he doesn’t want to hear. It’s impossible. He just shuts down like you saw there.
I hate Joe Biden more and more with each passing day, but I honestly don’t think we’ll need to worry about him for much longer. Something is obviously wrong with him, physically and/or mentally, and the White House won’t be able to cover for him forever. I just dread where this Afghanistan fiasco is headed until then, and my worst fears are already coming true.
Biden is a failure, and even more Americans are going to die because of his stubborn incompetence. None of this had to happen, and it’s all on his head. Whether or not there’s anything left inside it.
I’m just so tired.
This is so insane it hardly seems real. We’re telling the Taliban exactly where to look! Now they’re going to kill a lot more people, and the Biden White House helped.
And then Psaki and the rest of them get up there and say, “Well, these are the facts on the ground, the Taliban controls Afghanistan.” Yeah, now. Because Biden handed it to them, just a month after he insisted it could never happen.
Criminals. These people are nothing but criminals.
God bless the people volunteering to do what Biden refuses to do. He’s putting a lot of innocent people in harm’s way, and better men than he are rescuing his victims.
Oh yeah, and Biden’s son is a criminal too. Democrats have to pretend he isn’t, which is one of the many reasons I’m not a Democrat.
And now Sirhan Sirhan might get out of prison? I really don’t like the future and I would like it to stop.
“Hey, I saw See.”
“What did you say? A see-saw?”
“No, See.”
“See what?”
“The show.”
“What show?”
“See.”
“What show do you want me to see?”
“See.”
“Are you saying the letter C?”
“No, See.”
“Like the ocean? I don’t understand what’s happening.”
“See!”
Look:
See?
When I heard Nicolas Cage was starring in a movie called Pig, I pictured him sitting in his agent’s office:
“Okay, Nic, I’ve got a few interesting scripts here. This one is called Pig—”
“I’ll do it!!”
It’s just funny to think of Nic Cage doing a movie called Pig without knowing anything about it. He makes a lot of bad movies these days, so why would that title put him off? Of course Nicolas Cage would be in a movie called Pig!
But it’s actually very good and it really made an impression on me. It’s weird and sad and doesn’t go where you think it’s going to go. Superficially it’s about a guy who’s looking for his stolen pig, but it’s really about a man who’s been in hiding from a world that hurt him, and who’s been forced to walk back into his old life and haunt it like a ghost. A big fat hairy smelly broken ghost.
It’s one of those movies that doesn’t do a lot of hand-holding. There’s almost no exposition. It’s very “show, don’t tell,” and you learn about Cage’s character and his history as the movie goes along.
If I tried to parse the plot and characters logically, it probably wouldn’t make sense, but I’m not going to bother because it really hit me emotionally. I don’t want to say more than that, because I didn’t know much about the movie going in and I’m glad I let it surprise me. It’s definitely not a feel-good movie, but sometimes you need a feel-bad movie.
It’s not a freak-out fest like Mandy, the last Nic Cage movie I really liked. There’s only one real “Cage is being all weird and crazy!” moment. The rest of the time, he’s very understatedly crazy. It’s really an internal performance. Even when he barely moves, you can’t take your eyes off him.
The highest compliment I can give this movie is that I watched it straight through for 90 entire minutes, without looking at my phone or pausing the movie to look it up on IMDb or anything. I was completely engrossed the whole time. That’s pretty rare in a movie these days.
Plus, Gretchen Corbett shows up for a couple of minutes. You might not remember the name, but you had a crush on her if you ever saw her on an episode of The Rockford Files. Tell you what, she still looks pretty dang good.
I give Pig two hooves up! And now I’m going to eat some bacon.
Thanks for reading. Did I mention I’m very tired? Please click the buttons, help me out here, etc. See you Monday.
If you can’t run for president until you’re 35, there should also be a time limit to get it done. Let’s say, oh, 40 years. Once you hit three-quarters of a century, you’ve missed your shot. Don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are elderly. But we cannot have decrepit old zombies like Biden shuffling around, screwing everything up and getting the rest of us killed.
Beth Davenport is in PIG?
Adding it to my list of movies to watch...
It ages me, I know, but when you said "Gretchen Corbett" and "Rockford Files", I said "oh yeah" and put Pig on my must-see list. (Like Juanito, I see.)