Dead Terrorists Are Good, Actually
Give Yahya a hand. Please!
Wow. Remind me never to start a war with Israel, huh? The bad guys got a jump on them a year ago, but ever since, the Jews have been kicking ass.
I thought Operation Beep-Beep-Boom would be the highlight, but they saved the best for last. Witness the glorious farewell of October 7 mastermind Yahya Sinwar:
It’s good to see that before they put him out of his misery, he was literally disarmed.
Sinwar has now ceased firing.
“What has one thumb and just got pwned by the Jews? This guy!”
That scumbag’s last great act of defiance was lobbing a stick at a camera drone. Yet according to his fans (mostly American college students and Congressional Democrats), Sinwar “fought to the end.”
LOL!
Gotta say, putting a hole in this guy’s head only improved his looks. As the great Andrew Stiles puts it: “World's ugliest terrorist killed in war he started.”
Bye-bye, Yahya. If you didn’t want to go out like a bitch, you shouldn’t have picked a fight you knew you couldn’t win.
Score one for the good guys. If only our government had agreed when it mattered.
I’m glad Israel didn’t listen to our stupid, incompetent president or his stupid, incompetent vice president. If they’d had their way, all those dead Hamas and Hezbollah terrorists would still be live terrorists, plotting more terror.
“Ceasefire” just means “surrender.” I prefer Israel’s plan: Kill the enemy, dismantle their command hierarchy, destroy their infrastructure, repeat. That’s how you win a war. Now those Allah-botherers can go enjoy their 72 goats in Heaven.
And of course, Joe & Kamala are ever so proud to be part of the winning team, aren’t they? “Yay, Israel! We knew ya could do it. High five!” Ugh. They had nothing to do with this victory, and actively tried to prevent it.
“Hamas is an idea,” they bleated. “You can’t destroy an idea!” Well, Nazism is an idea, but that didn’t save Hitler.
America doesn’t get to jump on the bandwagon now. This is Israel’s victory, and Israel’s alone.
But then, Kamala is an expert coat-tail rider.
If you want my opinion — and you do, or you wouldn’t be reading this — both major-party presidential candidates are doing their best to lose. Unfortunately, only one can.
They’ve both said and done so many stupid things in just the past week, I’m completely numb to it all. Nothing is going to convince me to vote for either of them.
I’m not telling anybody how to vote. And nobody is telling me how to vote.
At first I was really looking forward to November 6. Finally, it’ll all be over. But then I remembered the 2000 election. Deciding the winner of that one took over a month. I’ve mostly blocked out the whole nightmare, though. All I really remember is one phrase: “hanging chads.” [SHUDDER]
And way back in 2000, when social media consisted of Usenet groups bickering about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, one month wasn’t nearly as long as it is now.
Don’t believe me? This was a month ago:
Feels like a year, right?
And then there was the 2020 election. ‘Nuff said about that.
I just hope that no matter who wins, it’s by a wide enough margin that we can avoid any of that nonsense. But hope ain’t a plan.
Streaming pick: Season 2 of The Devil’s Hour on Prime Video.
This one snuck up on me. (Sneaked? Whatever.) It’s been two years since the first season of this weird, creepy BBC co-production, a very strange sci-fi/horror/crime mashup, and I’d completely forgotten it was coming back.
I just watched the first new episode and struggled to remember the insane plot details — reincarnation and parallel realities and a Child Who Should Not Be and Peter Capaldi snarling vague, koan-like threats in a prison jumpsuit — but it’s a compelling show. Season 1 is only six episodes, so you can get caught up pretty quick.
Capaldi is the only former Doctor who1 has done much interesting work post-TARDIS, unless you like dragons.2 Between this crazy show and his fine work on Criminal Record on Apple TV+, he’s carving out his own niche as “creepy but ultimately righteous anti-villain.” Which basically describes his version of the Doctor. Although I’m not sure about Malcolm Tucker…
If the previous paragraph is complete gibberish to you, this show is worth watching anyway.
One gripe about that trailer, though: When will we be finished with the “slowed-down version of ‘80s pop hit” trend? It seems like they do that in every third trailer I’ve seen for years. What was wrong with the original “Time After Time”? Just play Cyndi Lauper, you dumb hipsters.
TGIF (Timid Gertrude Incessantly Farted), and thanks for reading. I’ve been doing my best to keep some kind of schedule, balancing this newsletter with my other job, and I thank you for your patience. I really am trying my best.
And no, I didn’t write any jokes for the Al Smith Dinner. For either candidate. Don’t blame me, guys!
Did I mention I’ll be glad when this dumb election is over?
See what I did there?
I don’t like dragons. They’re cool painted on the side of a van, I guess, but stories about them are just boring.
This is part of Kamala Harris's remarks on the death of Sinwar:
"I will say to any terrorist who kills Americans, threatens the American people, or threatens our troops or our interests, know this: We will always bring you to justice."
Translation: "To any terrorist who kills Americans, threatens the American people, or threatens our troops or our interests, know this: We will always wait for the Israelis to bring you to justice, and you can be sure they will, no matter how much we tell them not to."
Presumably Yahya paid Hunter good money so Joe would prevent Israel from invading Rafah. Does he have to return the money now?