Cuomo Goes, Though
Andy to Abdicate Anon
I’m wrong a lot. Just ask anybody. And most of the time, it’s a painful feeling and I don’t like it. Because most of the time, I should be right. The world should be the way I think it is, dammit!
But I’ve never been more glad to be wrong than I am today. We all just got something I didn’t expect: some small measure of justice. I didn’t think Andrew Cuomo would ever resign, and he did so yesterday just minutes after I confidently predicted he never would. For once, my cynicism was unfounded.
If Cuomo really thought that everybody noticing him groping all those women was a mere “distraction,” he wouldn’t be resigning. If he really didn’t do it, he’d be fighting like hell. You’d think his advisor Fredo could come up with something better than this.
But hey, if it gets him out of that office, I’ll take it. Janice Dean said it best:
It’s a great day for his accusers, after he tried to destroy them for telling the truth about him:
It’s also a great day for everybody who could see who and what Andrew Cuomo is, even as the media spent the last 18 months worshipping him as some sort of demigod. We saw past the lies and the groupthink.
Today’s post is dedicated to all those idiots who idolized Andrew Cuomo because he wasn’t Trump. Like this idiot:
And these idiots:
And all the idiots who called themselves “Cuomosexuals”:
And idiotic vampires like Valerie Jarrett who knew who and what Cuomo is, and backed him anyway.
They’re all singing a different tune now. As always, Drew Holden has the receipts. Click here and look at all the “news” outlets pretending they’ve never praised this psychopath:
Then there’s this idiot, who’s on his own plane of idiocy:
Alec Baldwin has made a second career out of exposing and magnifying a politician’s shortcomings. But it’s always different when the guy in trouble is a Democrat.
And of course, there’s the biggest idiot in the United States of America:
“A hell of a job.” Well, Cuomo made it his job to turn New York into Coronavirus Hell. Maybe that’s what Joe meant.
As Kyle Smith at NRO notes:
Cuomo’s March 25, 2020, order that nursing homes accept COVID-19 patients (not rescinded until May 11) now looks like possibly the single most catastrophic move made by any American politician during the pandemic, and Cuomo proceeded to lie about it and cover up to understate the consequences of his blunder — even as he was entreating publicly paid staffers to work on a memoir bragging about his pandemic management for which he was paid a ludicrous $5.1 million.
That’s why Cuomo should’ve resigned over a year ago. But as a wise man once said, the perfect is the enemy of the good. Forcing Cuomo out of office for sexual harassment is a bit like imprisoning Al Capone for tax evasion. It’s not the sentence he deserves for his worst crimes, but it’s still right. It’ll do for now. Maybe this will make it easier to throw Cuomo in jail for his criminally negligent response to COVID-19.
So, who’s getting the 9PM spot on CNN now? Stephen “Not the Trump Guy” Miller thinks it’ll be their new hire Kasie Hunt. Maybe. It’s not like anybody’s watching anyway.
If Andrew Cuomo stays out of jail, maybe he and Chris can go into business together. A neighborhood “candy store,” or perhaps a “construction company.” Y’know, a “legitimate business.”
I’m not used to getting what I want in the realm of politics. The last time it happened was on Election Day 2004. Every day since then has been a nightmare.1 So I’m trying to enjoy this feeling while I can. It won’t last, and it won’t undo all the damage Cuomo has done. It won’t bring back all the lives he’s taken. It won’t teach his onetime acolytes anything, because if they were capable of learning, they never would’ve kowtowed to him in the first place.
But it’s something. And every once in a while, something is better than nothing.
Congratulations to Tim Dillon on his victory over Governor Meatball:
In your heart, you know he’s right.
Okay, this is just too good. MSNBC figured if they want to talk about a politician who was forced out of office for being an abusive pervert, they might as well go to an expert!
Hey, let’s see what Al Franken has to say about it. Maybe Bill Clinton has some thoughts. Over to you, Eliot Spitzer.
Isn’t it nice to have a president who knows where he’s going?
That’s our Joe. He might wander around his own home like a lost old man, but… um...
The other day I called Brian Stelter a “semi-sentient helium balloon in a suit,” and I’d like to apologize. Not to him. To you. I didn’t really capture his essence. He’s so much less than that.
Dinger, please.
Stephen Colbert is another one who wants us to forget how he kissed Andrew Cuomo’s ass. I’m not forgetting. He was covering for Cuomo long after we all knew what he had done. Colbert just hates Trump that much.
(The people who boosted Cuomo as some sort of anti-Trump in 2020 also wanted Trump to get the GOP nomination in 2016. I opposed them then, and I oppose them now. If that makes you angry, I really don’t see how it’s my problem.)
Anyway, Stelter. Wow, that guy sucks. Just a genuinely bad person. He doesn’t care about any of the women who have accused Andrew Cuomo of sexual assault. He doesn’t care about Chris Cuomo’s complicity in trying to cover it up. He doesn’t care about the tens of thousands of New Yorkers who have died because of ex-Governor Cuomo’s incompetence and dishonesty. Brian Stelter only cares about his own career, and that means defending CNN no matter how evil that organization gets.
I use that word advisedly. CNN isn’t just wrong or misguided. The entire place has become evil. Stelter has sold his soul to them.
And for what? A show nobody watches, a book nobody is buying, and a cringeworthy talkshow appearance. Calling Stelter a cheap whore would be an insult.
To whores.
And speaking of evil:
I’ve never wanted to be on TV, let alone Joy Reid’s show, so I guess I just don’t understand the incentives that would make someone like Tim Miller say something so stupid and counterfactual. I guess he figures he’s already burned that bridge, so there’s no harm in throwing his own feces into the ashes.
Good luck to Miller and his ilk as they try to convince their new tribe that they really do belong. They’ve gotta make a living somehow, so they might as well start losing elections for Democrats instead of losing elections for Republicans.
My apologies to readers of yesterday’s subscribers-only post. The entire last item was about Red Letter Media’s review of The Suicide Squad, which they deleted right when I published at noon and replaced with a new version:
I hope this version stays up long enough for you to watch it. Those guys are funny!
Speaking as a comics dork who’s trying to make a living on Substack, it’s heartening to see so many mainstream comics creators moving to Substack. Print is dying, and the Substack model seems better for creators than the ad-based model. I can tell you from personal experience that doing what I want and connecting directly with readers is much more satisfying than trying to appeal to a broader general audience.
The comics industry has been ripping off creators for the better part of a century, so I’m rooting for these guys. If they can maintain ownership of their work instead of getting a pittance for figuring out what Batman and Spider-Man do next, good on ‘em.
I assume the comics industry will react the same way the media industry has reacted to Substack: hilariously panicky propaganda. They really don’t like competition.
I finally watched the Without Remorse movie that got dumped on Amazon Prime a few months back. It was… fine? There was enough shooting and punching and screaming to keep me diverted for a couple of hours, but there was little of the clever dialogue I’ve come to expect from Taylor Sheridan, and the whole thing just felt generic. Michael B. Jordan was okay in it. He has 1.5 facial expressions at most, but in this movie he didn’t even need that much.
My only genuine emotional reaction was when I realized the evil Russian villain was… Brett Gelman??? LOL! Sorry, no, Gelman is not scary. But he was great in Cracked Out, so I just went back and listened to some of that.
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And yes, that includes stupid Biden getting elected. Anybody who tells you I’ve ever supported that creep is as much of a liar as he is.
4Chan really should try to make "Dinger, please" a Thing, so not only do the Rockies have to change their mascot's name, but all of baseball history has to do a Ctrl+H to remove the term "dinger" from everything ever written.
I supported Trump. The entertainment value has been off the charts. Politics has been garbage for so long I only go on entertainment value, dangerous but what else is there to live for.