Brett Kavanaugh Is on the Supreme Court and Michael Avenatti Is in Prison
From savior of the republic to belle of the cellblock
As we’ve all learned over the last couple of years, the Italian word for schadenfreude is “Avenatti.” The rise of the once-ubiquitous TV lawyer was meteoric, but meteors also fall. Now the pugilistic pettifogger is going to prison for 2 1/2 years for trying to extort Nike out of $20 million.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That’s great. It makes me genuinely happy when bad things happen to bad people.
This seems like a good time to look back at how the media treated Avenatti when they found him useful. Back in 2018, he was all over cable news. And they absolutely worshipped him.
And what is the Human Potato talking about these days? Same thing as always:
Tucker is still kicking CNN’s ass every night, and Stelter’s old pal is going to prison. Avenatti has gone from savior of the republic to belle of the cellblock.
Speaking as a cuck RINO traitor, even I didn’t hate Bad Orange man so much that I latched onto an obvious scum$#!+ like Michael Avenatti. He was almost comically unethical from the start, but our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters put that aside because they thought he was their savior.1 He was rude, hostile, braggadocious, aggressively dishonest, and not noticeably bright, and they all loved him. Right up until the moment they didn’t.
And here’s what all those hacks are saying about Avenatti now:
Trump is out of power (for now), and all the people who ruined their reputations trying to tear him down have learned nothing from it. If you were stupid enough to trust any of them when they put Avenatti up on a pedestal, you’re not smart enough to derive any lessons from the experience.
Stephen “Not the Trump Guy” Miller just did a good podcast about this. Pull quote: “These people don’t go away. They just go into remission.”
Miller also points out that Avenatti’s attempt to take down Brett Kavanaugh was the beginning of the end for him. As long as Avenatti kept making vague threats against Trump, the press loved him. But then he jumped on the anti-Kavanaugh bandwagon and the whole thing tipped over. This clown made everybody realize how ridiculous that entire smear campaign was. That was a solid loss for Avenatti. He cost them dearly, so they started hating him.
Michael Avenatti is a bad person, and so are all the people who pushed him on you. Don’t let them forget what they did. Don’t let them pretend they have the right to scold you about anything.
Joe Biden Ice Cream Watch
Technically this doesn’t qualify as a “Joe eats ice cream” story, but it’s pretty damn close.
Ladies and gentlemen: Journalism in 2021 America!
Just try to imagine Spicer or McEnany or any other Republican WH press secretary pulling this crap. Psaki is no better than any of them, but Dems always stick together.
BREAKING: Plant-based “meat” stinks. A soy disc that’s supposed to taste like meat doesn’t have the same nutritional value as meat. So you should just eat meat. Or don’t. But you shouldn’t imagine synthetic anti-meat is going to replace real meat.
Oh, you say you have moral and ethical objections to killing animals? Okay, here’s a thought experiment: A madman has taken one of your loved ones hostage — let’s say your mom — and is holding a gun to her head. The madman forces you to make a choice: either he shoots your mom in the head, or he shoots a cow in the head.
Which one do you choose?
If you’re a vegetarian, you just let your mom die because you thought a cow’s life was more important. So I don’t really care to be admonished by you.
If you chose the cow to die, then you realize human life is more important than that of some dumb animal, and you can now enjoy a tasty burger.
Hey, don’t get mad at me. I’m not the hypocrite, you are.
Hang onto your MAGA hats, Trump fans, because I’ve got good news and bad news.
The bad news: Remember how Fox News called Arizona for Biden on election night? Remember how angry it made you, because you would’ve preferred a different result and you’re not very good at regulating your emotions?
A new book claims Arizona was entirely Rupert Murdoch’s call:
Lachlan [Murdoch] got his father on the phone to ask if he wanted to make the early call. His father, with signature grunt, assented, adding: 'F*** him.'
My word. How rude!
The good news: The book was written by Michael Wolff, so it’s probably BS.2
AOC isn’t very smart, but at least she’s dishonest.
If you know what her response to this means, please help me out:
Wait, what? How does the crappy infrastructure of an entirely Democrat-run city, in an entirely Democrat-run state, have anything to do with the Senate filibuster? Did the Democrats put up a bill banning rain, but then those dirty Republicans filibustered it?
I know AOC and all the other anti-Semites believe Jews control the weather, but now the GOP does too?
Why is this woman so stupid? Could someone please help her be less stupid?
If you had told me 15 years ago that Marvel Comics would soon become the biggest brand in the world, I would’ve laughed at you. Most of Marvel’s movies before 2008 were dismal failures (except the first Blade, which most people didn’t know was a Marvel property), and Stan Lee’s dreams of Hollywood stardom seemed forever out of reach.
Now Stan is a household name and Marvel has a license to print money. But what are they doing with it?
Shrug emoji. I guess I’ll watch this. The animation looks good, at least. But… meh? Maybe I’d be more excited about this if all the other MCU shows hadn’t been such disappointments.
And I’m not really excited about Black Widow or The Eternals either. Shang-Chi looks slightly more interesting. But ever since Tony Stark snapped his fingers, it just hasn’t been the same. Marvel’s movies are starting to feel like their comics: competent but uninspiring assembly-line dreck.
If you have any interest in how Marvel came to be, you need to read True Believer: The Rise and Fall of Stan Lee by Abraham Riesman. When you look at the evidence, particularly Stan’s post-Marvel track record — Stripperella, anyone? — it’s very clear that Jack Kirby was the true creator of the Marvel Universe. Stan did a lot to help, but he didn’t create any of it. Jack was the driving force. If you’ve enjoyed any of the MCU movies, Jack Kirby is the one to thank. And you need to thank him, because Marvel sure ain’t gonna do it.3
I don’t know whether Substack is glitching or my brain is, but yesterday I sent out this newsletter to the entire e-mail list, but it only went to paying subscribers. That’s happened twice in the past week. I was going to wait a month before I started making some stuff subscribers-only, so it’s annoying that this keeps happening.
If you don’t want to miss all this goodness every day, due to either Substack’s incompetence or my own, you’d better…
This is the end of my fourth week after “going paid” on Substack, and I’m pleasantly surprised by the response. I was worried nobody would subscribe, so thanks to everybody who’s proving me wrong. We’ve still got a long way to go before I start making a yearly living wage from this newsletter, but thanks to you, we’re making a good start.4
I need another favor, though. Please share this newsletter with somebody you think will like it. A person with your discerning tastes obviously has lots of friends, and you’ll be doing them a favor by sharing this wonderfulness with them. They’ll be so grateful to you for improving their lives. This is for your own benefit, really.
And once you’ve done all that, feel free to leave a comment. Doesn’t have to be anything big, you can just say hi if you want.
More recently, we’ve seen the same phenomenon with “scientist” and “whistleblower” Rebekah Jones, who is neither a scientist nor a whistleblower. She just makes up whatever garbage she wants and journos present it as the truth, because they hate Ron DeSantis and they think she’s going to save them from him. They never learn, because they have no incentive to learn.
You know who else you could blame for Trump’s loss? Me! The obscure blogger who nobody likes and has no influence, but who’s also somehow responsible for your hero’s humiliating failure. Believing such a thing is stupid and doesn’t make any sense, and it has the added benefit of making you feel better. Glad to help. You’re welcome.
Unless… It just occurred to me that the "Sacred Timeline" stuff on Loki might be a jab at Stan. He worked hard to maintain the myth that he was the sole creator of Marvel, just like the “Time-Keepers” were supposedly the lone caretakers of reality. Maybe the TVA was created by... Jack Kirby?
I say “we” and “our,” instead of “I” and “my,” so it sounds like we’re in this thing together. Are you buying it?
Bro! I have to pay to be your friend for life?
hi if you want.
I'm coachable.