Biden Finally Recognizes America's Biggest Threat: Horses

Just say neigh

The good news is that somebody in the Biden administration is finally getting fired for screwing up. The bad news is that it’s a bunch of horses.

Our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in the press spent weeks ignoring the humanitarian crisis in Del Rio, Texas, because there was no way to spin it for the Democrats. The media didn’t care what was happening at the border until they could use it for their favorite thing in the world: accusing white people of racism.

There was no whip, there were no whips, but whatever. Details, details. The important thing is that this proves America is racist. Mere facts are no match for the all-holy narrative.

Ten thousand illegal immigrants packed under a bridge for weeks in 100-degree heat because Joe Biden expressly invited them into this country? That’s not a story.

But white guys in cowboy hats on horses chasing black people? Now that’s a story! That’s something liberals can understand. It’s the only thing they ever want to talk about. They want to pretend we’re still back in the days of slavery, and the U.S. Border Patrol just served up the perfect images to fit that narrative.

The Biden administration cares more about how things look than how things are, so now this is happening:

“So what he has asked all of us to convey clearly?1 To people who are (sic) understandably have questions? Are passionate? Are concerned? As we are about the images that we have seen? Is one, we feel those images are horrible and horrific? There is an investigation the president certainly supports, overseen by the Department of Homeland Security? Which he has conveyed will happen quickly. I can also convey to you that the secretary also conveyed to civil rights leaders earlier this morning that we would no longer be using horses in Del Rio. So that is something, a policy change that has been made in response.”

It’s about time the Biden administration did something about the biggest threat in America today: horses. First our hospitals filled up with people OD’ing on horse paste, and now those damn horses are killing black people at the border or whatever. Just say neigh! #BanHorses #JustSayNeigh

Biden murdered seven children in Afghanistan with a drone strike, and nobody was fired. Some cowboys enforced the border on horseback, as they’ve been doing for 100 years, and Biden fired the horses.

Meanwhile, the border surge continues, people are suffering, and it’s only going to get worse because of Biden’s incompetence:

By the way, this is still happening too:

I’m tempted to call the Biden administration a circus, but no circus has ever had this kind of body count.

A journalist named Shelley Ross has accused Chris Cuomo of sexual harassment when he worked for her at ABC News in 2005. And we know she’s not making it up — remember, Chris advised his equally repulsive older brother Andrew to claim his accusers were making it up — because she’s got receipts:

Grabbing a married woman’s ass at a party, right in front of her husband, is a “hearty greeting.” Heyyyyyy, he was just glad to see ya! Whaddaya gotta get so f***in’ fresh about?

I’m sure Cuomo will worm his way out of this like he always does, and CNN will do nothing as usual (just ask Jeffrey Toobin)2, but it just confirms that he’s the rotten piece of garbage we all knew he was. Just imagine the reaction among our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in the press if this story were about, say, Tucker Carlson.

Did you know Time’s Up had completely dissolved? Ross mentions that in her op-ed, and I guess I missed it. The group no longer exists as of two weeks ago, after chairwoman Roberta Kaplan defended Andrew Cuomo against the women he groped. Apparently those dames didn’t really care about sexual harassment against women after all.

Let this be a lesson: Always save e-mails from politicians and their stupid siblings. You never know when they’ll come in handy.

Enjoy your weekend, Fredo.

Goliath is back! The Amazon Prime legal drama(?) stars Billy Bob Thornton as a crazy lawyer who takes on insane cases nobody else is bananas enough to take, and it’s pretty damn nuts. The fourth and final season premieres today, and that thing on top of Billy Bob’s head has never looked more ridiculous. This time he and his hairpiece are fighting the opioid industry, and the bad guy is J. K. Simmons. Billy Bob vs. J. K. Simmons, holy crap.

Goliath is the only David E. Kelley show I’ve ever been able to sit through. That’s just how good Billy Bob is.

In other news about Southern guys with the middle name Bob, the great Joe Bob Briggs has reviewed Malignant as only he can. He’s doing the Patreon thing these days, but that one’s free.

And those hack frauds at Red Letter Media also reviewed that dumb, bonkers movie. Malignant is by no means a good film, but it would be a shame if you didn’t see it before it’s spoiled for you, as they do here:

As I’ll tell anyone who will or won’t listen, Mr Inbetween is the best show on American TV and it’s not even American. The Australian dramedy about Ray Shoesmith, a brutally effective hitman who also happens to be a pretty good dad and a decent bloke to drink a few tinnies with, just ended its three-season run on an absolutely brilliant note. I was glad writer/star Scott Ryan got to wrap up the show in his own inimitable way, but I also wanted more.

Ryan’s only other credit on IMDb is The Magician, a 2005 crime flick that’s now available on Amazon Prime. It’s a strange little no-budget semi-improvised mockumentary, and I’m not sure I can recommend it if you haven’t watched the show, but it’s interesting to see how the Ray Shoesmith character originated. The Magician is only 99 cents to rent, so if you like the show and want more Ray, check it out.3

Legendary cartoonist Steve Ditko created Spider-Man and Doctor Strange for Marvel Comics in the early ‘60s, and he let Stan Lee take all the credit because he didn’t care about any of that. Now the late artist’s brother Patrick Ditko has filed notices of copyright termination against Marvel for both characters.

I’m not a lawyer and I have no idea whether the Ditko estate has a case legally, but I’m rooting for the little guy. The dirty little secret of the comic-book industry is that most of those superheroes, the brave and stalwart champions who defend the downtrodden and embody our highest ideals, were created by penniless artists who got swindled by hucksters and con men. Stan Lee and Bob Kane are the two biggest names in the history of comics, and only recently has the full scope of their fraud become more widely known. And the way DC Comics treated Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, the creators of Superman, was abominable.

If the Ditko family can get a piece of the billion-dollar franchise that wouldn’t be possible without Steve’s creative genius, I’m all for it. He probably wouldn’t approve, but he was a big weirdo.

“But why should the Ditko family profit from something they had no part in?” I dunno. Why should the Disney family?

Happy Friday, and thanks for reading. If you liked this AD-FREE newsletter, please subscribe now so I can keep doing it.


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I’m using question marks because that’s how Jen Psaki talks. She makes almost every statement sound like a question, so I’m transcribing it accordingly. If she can’t get rid of the irritating uptalk that makes her sound like a 12-year-old, I see no reason to pretend she sounds like a professional.


But wouldn’t it be something if CNN lost two Cuomos in as many months?


SPOILER: Ray doesn’t do magic or anything. He just makes people disappear. Which is good work if you can get it. Oh, and obviously the ending of the movie isn’t canon.