Biden Punishes Border Patrol Agents for Imaginary Crime
What's the alternative, admitting he's wrong?
Remember when the Biden administration accused those Border Patrol agents of whipping illegal aliens even though it never happened? And remember how they dropped it for almost a year because there’s direct visual evidence that it’s a lie, but they can’t admit that because it would mean admitting a Republican is right about something?
Now the worst presidential administration in American history is doing this:
It’s one thing to be addicted to Twitter. Lord knows, I have no room to talk. But governing the United States based on Twitter trends is maybe the second-dumbest thing any president has ever done. I don’t think even Trump ever tumbled into a Twitter-hole the way these rubes have. They fell for an unsubstantiated claim somebody tweeted, and they’re not honest enough to admit they’re wrong. Nothing means less to them than the truth.
What’s the point of writing and passing laws if you’re just going to punish people for enforcing those laws, based on a lie somebody told online?
They’re so comically, transparently dishonest:
Breaking: Strangler demands victim explain lack of pulse.
Oh, Joe is doing just fine. Why do you ask?
“Aggressive behaviors may be verbal or physical. They can occur suddenly, with no apparent reason, or result from a frustrating situation. While aggression can be hard to cope with, understanding that the person with Alzheimer’s or dementia is not acting this way on purpose can help.” — Alzheimer’s Association
By the way, Biden also reminds us that today, June 15, is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. Usually a president only gets his own holiday posthumously.
“When the censor comes along to tell you what you can’t say or write, he doesn’t really care what you say or write. But he does care about what people who can’t speak or write think about what you say or write. He’s essentially a spokesman for the uninformed.” -- Joe Bob Briggs
Joe Bob dropped that nugget of wisdom on a recent episode of The Last Drive-In on Shudder, which is a fun show if you like horror flicks or just listening to a really smart guy pretend to be dumb.
And it explains the censorious fervor we’re seeing from the libs these days, both online and off. This is why Twitter wants to censor @libsoftiktok, for example. Quoting libs verbatim is harmful, because stupid people might take it the wrong way. You, the person reading this right now, can’t decide for yourself. They have to do it for you. They’ve appointed themselves your caretakers. Well, I neither want nor need their help. I’ll make up my own mind, thank you very much.
Leave it to a horror host to be smarter and more honest than any of the people who want to run your life for you.
Ladies and gentlemen: Hunter Biden’s laptop.
Even if you haven’t been following the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard mess, this is funny:
As @HashtagGriswold points out, this is a scene right out of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. And in the spirit of that show, she’s using the A.M.B.E.R. System:
Attract older, wealthier star
Mate frenetically
Bash him about the head and face
Exclaim loudly in court
Run to the press
Streaming pick: Somehow I didn’t know Shoresy premiered on Hulu last month, but over the last couple of days I’ve corrected that oversight.
If you’ve watched Letterkenny, the only good show to ever come from Canada, you don’t need me to tell you who Shoresy is. He’s the hockey thug with the high-pitched voice and unseen face who’s always telling those two lovable dimwits Riley and Jonesy, in hilariously excruciating detail, about all the wonderful things he’s done to their mothers.
If you haven’t watched Letterkenny, you don’t really need to know anything about it to enjoy this show. Alls you need to know is there’s a last-place local hockey team in a town called Sudbury that’s on the verge of folding, and one incredibly foul-mouthed jerk is trying to save it via sheer force of rudeness. His plan: NEVER LOSE AGAIN.
Jared Keeso plays the main character Wayne on Letterkenny, and he also plays Shoresy on that show but until now we’ve never seen his face. Turns out Shoresy looks exactly like Wayne, except with a slicked-back mullet and a two-week beard and eyes that open all the way. You’d think Riley and Jonesy would’ve mentioned the resemblance. They were probably too busy getting mad about all the ways Shoresy has defiled their moms.
Shoresy has the same comedic rhythms and running gags and mindbogglingly rapid dialogue as Letterkenny, and I need to turn on closed captions to catch all of it. There are so many laughs per minute that I need to take a break after an episode. Sometimes during.
There’s something weirdly wholesome about Keeso’s shows, considering the astonishing number of dick jokes per minute. There are more F-bombs than a Tarantino flick, but there’s something sweet and innocent about it. These people are constantly insulting each other in the most graphically personal terms imaginable, but at the end of the day, they just want to play hockey and pound a few beers and punch some bullies and have a good time. There’s just something comforting about it.
So give yer balls a tug and check out Shoresy. Now Canada has given us two good shows. At this rate, by 2030 they might have three!
By the way, 525,600 minutes equals one year. I googled it because it’s such a weirdly specific number. These shows aren’t just funny, they’re educational.
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Question: "What’s the point of writing and passing laws if you’re just going to punish people for enforcing those laws, based on a lie somebody told online?"
Answer: Unrestrained power.
And by "sister in law," you mean "the other woman," yes?
Also, "Slings & Arrows" is not only Canadian, but Paul Gross' best TV series ever (even better than the often brilliant "Due South') and the most wildly hilarious "behind the scenes" look at regional theater. Ever.