Audio-Animatronic Biden Addresses Nation
BEEP-BOOP-C'MON-MAN-BOP-BEEP
Oh, Joe Biden is doing just fine. Why do you ask?
Yeah, looks like they had to piece together the scattered moments when he was somewhat lucid.
Say, does he still have COVID? Shouldn’t he be resting?
And then there’s this. Count the number of blinks:
Does this man look okay to you?
Biden does not look okay to me. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a stagehand crouched behind him, literally propping him up. And what the hell are they injecting him with, just to keep him awake and talking?
It looks like they replaced him with his animatron from Disneyland:
Actually, that looks more realistic than whatever the White House is giving us right now.
But don’t worry. Once Joe’s battery finally conks out, his replacement is ready and rarin’ to go:
Everything’s fine, America! Just terrific. No worries.
I don’t really care what happens with the January 6 crap. Lock him up, reelect him, whatever. At this point, it’s all the same to me.
But this is pretty funny:
And so is this:
Trump Supporter Goes NeverTrump for Clout, Cash
I begged the GOP not to nominate Trump, refused to vote for him either time, and didn’t pretend inciting a riot at the Capitol was a good idea, and now I’ve been consigned to the wilderness of Substack. I didn’t kiss Trump’s ass when it suited my purposes, and then turn on a dime to bash him when that suited my purposes.
Hate me all you want, MAGA-heads, but at least I’m consistent.
This freakin’ guy:
Well, it makes sense that John Hinckley would make an appeal to the scumbags who wish he had succeeded 41 years ago. Those are his people.
It sucks that this loon is walking free, but at least he has to live with the knowledge of his failure. His life has passed him by and now he’s just a punchline:
Plus, Jodie Foster is married.
To a woman.
Tee-hee!
When I was a kid, I loved the Loch Ness Monster. It was awesome to think dinosaurs might still exist. Then I grew up, sorta, and everybody told me Nessie was just a myth. A hoax. Cryptozoology.
Ha.
So… you’re tellin’ me there’s a chance!
Another Better Call Saul Spoiler
I know at least one of you doesn’t like when I write about Better Call Saul, but it’s the best show on TV and I’m obsessed with it. After this week’s episode, a black-and-white, completely nonviolent heist flick set in the post-Breaking Bad “Gene” timeline, I became convinced this was the end of Jimmy McGill’s story.
Here’s why:
That final scene, when Gene put together a Saul Goodmanesque ensemble and then wistfully put it back on the rack, was just like Walter White caressing the tools of his trade in the very last scene of Breaking Bad. A lonely, friendless man has one last adventure, reflects on his glory days, and then exits the scene.
Breaking Bad being what it was, the vindictive and murderous Walt then collapsed and died from the injuries he inadvertently inflicted on himself. He got what was coming to him, but on his own terms.
But Jimmy McGill, for all his faults, is a more gentle soul. A criminal, but not a killer. Thanks to his brilliant con artistry and unerring work ethic, he gets to walk away. Goodbye, Gene. Goodbye, Jimmy. Goodbye, Saul.
Or so I thought! Now it turns out Carol Burnett is set to appear in more than one episode, which I assume means the show will return to the Gene timeline. Or maybe her character, Marion, had already run into Saul during the Breaking Bad timeline? Marion is way too independent to live in a nursing home, so she wouldn’t have been part of the Sandpiper Crossing lawsuit. Maybe she met Kim, who grew up in Nebraska? Hmmmm…
BCS drives me nuts and I love it! I can’t wait for the last three episodes, and also I never want this show to end.
Even after the last curtain falls, we’ll always have pimento:
Mike is the best. Every little thing he does is magic.
Hope your Hump Day is treating you well. If you liked what you just read, why not subscribe so I can keep doing this? $5/month or $50/year. Very affordable, and it’s the right thing to do.
Some of us MAGA-heads love you despite your blind spot.
Not about to subscribe to The Telegraph for one article, but apparently they found a plesiosaur skeleton in a freshwater environment. So? Sharks swim up the Mississippi and the St. Lawrence from time to time. Doesn't mean it was a thing.
This is a bugaboo of mine, but there's really no such thing as "animal rights." Animals do not have self-consciousness, empathy or theory of mind -- certainly nowhere near that found in humans, and necessary to act responsibly, which is requisite for exercising rights. Does a wildebeest have a right to life? Somebody tell the lion. Does the lion have a right to feed her kits? Somebody tell the wildebeest.
Animals are unable to conceptualize the rights of others, and thus cannot have any rights themselves. Rather, it is *humans* who have a responsibility to treat all of nature in a thoughtful, respectful, responsible -- dare I say sustainable? -- manner. Abusing animals is a sign of moral depravation.
Treating animals respectfully *looks* like you are respecting their "rights," and so that has become the shorthand. But it takes the focus off of us, and our moral duty to act responsibly.
End of sermon.
The Kamala video reminds me of what an unserious time we live in. Here, she's going out of her way to make an audio description for a subset of the blind audience that "may" be playing this content... it's a lot of effort for some dubious payoff. Meanwhile, the country has real problems, and her role in all that just seems to be to dismiss and cackle at it. No wonder China feels like they can threaten the Speaker of the House for their trips to Taiwan, or Russia thinks it can do whatever. Just waiting for the return of ISIS and the set will be complete.