Where Are the 29 Million "Super Fans" Who Didn't Sign Up for CNN+?

29, maybe, or as many as 290

Are you a CNN super fan?

Does your whole week revolve around Jake Tapper’s Book Club? Do you own a Brian Stelter inaction figure? Did you roar with rapturous Viking joy when Chris Wallace jumped from Fox News, even though you hated him when he was on Fox News? Do you have a “CNN4LYFE” tattoo? Is it on your face?

Is that who and what you are?

Of course not. No one is. Nobody in the whole entire world. Out of all the things you could be, why would you be that?

But nobody told the executives at CNN…