Week Sauce (9/30)

Weekend immune system

The Max streaming service just premiered Naked Attraction, a British game show where contestants are judged by their nude bodies.
I preferred the show’s original title: Dick or No Dick.

A Philadelphia man was denied entry to a Phillies game for bringing his emotional support alligator.
“It was a terrifying experience,” said the alligator.

The Speaker of the Canadian House of Commons has resigned after inviting a literal Nazi to Parliament, where he got a standing ovation.
Say what you want about Nazi Germany, but at least they never gave us Nickelback.

Kevin Sorbo wants to make Hollywood manly again, saying modern entertainment misunderstands masculinity. 
Nobody ever asked the historical Hercules for his pronouns. Because he would rape them. Hey, that was their culture.

San Francisco Mayor London Breed slammed activists for distributing tents to homeless people.
Instead, they should hand out what the homeless really need: heroin needles.

During a speech at the Congressional Black Caucus, Joe Biden called LL Cool J “boy” while assessing his physique.
Well, Joe always has been an old-school Democrat.

In a new study, the Wuhan Institute of Virology has warned that another pandemic is “highly likely.”
The study was a joint effort with the University of No Shit.

The Washington National Cathedral has unveiled new stained-glass windows depicting scenes of “racial justice.”
The windows were then smashed by rioters.

Hunter Biden is suing Rudy Giuliani over that laptop with all those incriminating photos on it.
Rudy says Hunter’s naked body is the second-worst thing he’s ever seen.

Personal finance company WalletHub has ranked the 10 unhappiest states in America.
The unhappiest state? Wherever Brian Kilmeade is right now.

Donald Trump was a no-show again at the second GOP presidential debate.
He refuses to stand on the same stage as Chris Christie, on the advice of seismologists. 

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