Week Sauce (9/21)

Weekend immune system

Another lunatic tried to kill Donald Trump on Sunday.
What is it with these assassins working weekends? Whatever happened to regular pastimes, like college football and NASCAR and swingers’ parties?

Attempted assassin Ryan Routh is a registered Democrat and donor who has a Biden-Harris sticker on his truck, and he went to Ukraine in 2022 and encouraged other Americans to join him.
So far, the mainstream media has been unable to find a motive.

Hundreds of Hezbollah terrorists have been critically injured after the pagers they use to communicate exploded in their pockets.
Sounds like Israel just took a lot of balls.
Those terrorists had “blew” balls. One ball blew that way, the other one that way.

The day after thousands of Hezbollah pagers exploded, the same thing happened to thousands of Hezbollah walkie-talkies.
Let’s hope Israel doesn’t hack into their vibrators.

On Morning Joe, Hillary Clinton shared her “wisdom” on aging, saying: “You’re not the same person you were in your 20s, 40s, 60s.”
True. Back then, she thought one day she’d be president.

Hillary’s fourth memoir is coming out this week.
She’s now ahead of her main rival, who only has three.

A zoo in China has admitted that its panda exhibit was just a few dogs with fur dyed black and white.
The good news is that now it’s okay to eat them.

The Navy has commissioned its first co-ed submarine, the U.S.S. New Jersey.
Finally, there’s somebody onboard who’s willing to ask for directions.
Who will be the first sailor to get court-martialed for leaving the toilet seat up?