Week Sauce (8/2)
Weekend immune system
Welcome to Week Sauce, where I share some jokes I wrote about the past week’s events. Enjoy!
The grand marshal of this year’s Brickyard 400 was none other than Cookie Monster.
In related news, the NYC Pride March just announced next year’s co-marshals.
While performing onstage during her European tour, Jennifer Lopez suffered an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction.
Somehow, clothes fell on her.
Scientists say an asteroid that originally appeared to be on a collision course with Earth might actually hit the moon.
A huge relief to everyone except werewolves.
In Missouri, a married special ed teacher has pleaded guilty to endangering the welfare of a child after sending nude photos to a 16-year-old boy.
Even more troubling: The pictures are, apparently, not available online.
Katy Perry and former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau appear to be dating.
Well, we know it’s not the first time she’s kissed a girl.
Researchers at Cambridge University have discovered a 4,000-year-old handprint on an ancient Egyptian burial artifact.
Amazingly, they’ve even identified whose hand it was.
TSA agents at Miami International Airport caught a woman trying to smuggle two turtles inside her bra.
And she might have gotten away with it, if she hadn’t put them both on the same side.
Kamala Harris says one of her favorite quotes is from her mother: “Don’t let people tell you who you are — instead, tell them who you are.”
For example, who she is is not the president of the United States.
Joan Anderson, the Australian woman who helped popularize the hula hoop in the 1950s, has died at age 101.
She asked to have her hips donated to science.
Researchers say potatoes may have evolved millions of years ago from the tomato.
I’m no scientist, but I suspect cavemen discovered ketchup and needed something to dip in it.