Week Sauce (8/16)
Weekend immune system
Welcome to Week Sauce, where I share some jokes I wrote about the past week’s events. Enjoy!
On a recent episode of Monica Lewinsky’s podcast, she and John Oliver bonded over their shared hatred of Jay Leno.
Another thing they have in common: sucking.
A man in Washington, DC was arrested for throwing a Subway sandwich at a US Customs officer.
Fortunately, the officer wasn’t hurt and the sandwich wasn’t eaten.
Bottling up stress may lead to memory loss as we age.
That’s according to... um... I dunno, some science guys someplace?
The DOJ lawyer who was arrested for throwing a sandwich at a federal officer in DC has been released on his own recognizance.
Hey, that’s how the law works when you have a lot of bread.
Ashley Biden has filed for divorce, after 13 years of marriage to plastic surgeon Howard Krein.
Hunter has already started banging him.
Hakeem Jeffries says: “The crime scene in D.C. most damaging to everyday Americans is at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.”
Makes sense. For four years, the president of the United States was a chalk outline.
In Britain, female police officers are going undercover as joggers and arresting men who catcall them.
I’m just glad they’re finally getting some exercise.
A woman on Reddit has claimed to have gotten engaged to an A.I. chatbot she calls “Kasper.”
No wedding date has been announced, but the happy couple plan to honeymoon at Best Buy.
In London, a Vietnamese restaurant has been shut down after health inspectors found a freezer full of dog meat.
The owner will stand trial for food hygiene offenses and first-degree confirmation of stereotypes.
A Boston-area sheriff faces up to 20 years in prison for allegedly extorting $50,000 from a cannabis company.
Well, that’s one way to weed out bad cops.