Week Sauce (5/3)
Weekend immune system
Welcome to Week Sauce, where I share some jokes I wrote about the past week’s events. Enjoy!
Michelle Obama says President Trump’s immigration policy keeps her up at night.
Well, no other man does.
The state of New York has banned smartphone use during school hours.
Which seems unfair. How are kids supposed to score any drugs?
Over the past week, ICE agents and Florida cops have arrested nearly 800 illegal aliens in what they’re calling “Operation Tidal Wave.”
That’s also the code name JB Pritzker’s security uses when he takes a bath.
In Colorado Springs, the DEA raided an underground club and arrested over 100 illegal immigrants, including members of MS-13 and Tren de Aragua.
The neighborhood is now flooded with angry Congressional Democrats.
Chicago police arrested a woman on a Southwest Airlines flight for stripping naked and defecating on her seat.
Well yeah, she didn’t want to mess up her outfit. That’s a crime now?
Experts are worried that artificial intelligence might be hurting our ability to think and remember.
This from the scientific journal Um, Whatever It’s Called.
President Trump has vowed to bring Columbus Day “back from the ashes.”
Italian-Americans celebrated by gesturing wildly.
The man who stole Kristi Noem’s purse has been identified as Mario Bustamante-Leiva, an illegal alien and career criminal from Chile.
Congressional Democrats are already booking flights to Santiago.
After just five weeks in theaters, Disney’s Snow White remake has fallen out of the box office top 10.
In related news, Rachel Zegler is f***ing Grumpy.
Kamala Harris wants Americans to circle up like the elephants at the San Diego Zoo during the earthquake.
She could use some time in a circle herself.
