Week Sauce (4/6)

Weekend immune system

Welcome to Week Sauce, where I post some jokes I wrote about the past week’s news for whatever reason. Enjoy!

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Planters Peanuts is looking for someone to drive their NUTmobile, a car shaped like a giant peanut.
There’s one guy who would be perfect for the job, but I think they took away his car keys.

Joy Behar walked onto the set of The View this week wearing two different colored shoes.
Makes sense. It’s been decades since she could see her own feet.

NYC Mayor Eric Adams says soaring crime rates are actually a “perception problem.”
“Yeah, I don’t see anything,” said one man.

A U.S. district judge has refused to toss out the tax case against Hunter Biden.
Nor is he tossing out that little plastic baggie Hunter left in the men’s room.

Washington Post “journalist” Taylor Lorenz has gone viral promoting her appearance at the Pornhub Awards.
Good thing she wore a mask. That place has all sorts of things she wouldn’t want to inhale.

Oregon Governor Tina Kotek is recriminalizing possession of drugs like heroin and ketamine, hoping to quell the recent wave of homelessness, homicides, and overdose deaths. 
But don’t worry, you can still $#!+ on the sidewalk.