Week Sauce (4/5)
Weekend immune system
A group of protesters at Columbia University tore up their diplomas to protest the arrest of Mahmoud Khalil.
The diplomas have now doubled in value as toilet paper.
Alec Baldwin is warning his Instagram followers that America may be on the brink of another civil war.
Well, he already fired the first shot.
Scientists are warning of a potential outbreak of bird flu in cats.
“Sufferin’ succotash,” said one concerned citizen.
Disney stands to lose well over $100 million on their new Snow White movie.
When reached for comment, all seven dwarfs were grumpy.
Starting today, New Zealand is relaxing its “golden visa” rules to make it easier for wealthy Americans to emigrate.
But there’s one catch: You have to marry a local.
Director Sam Mendes has announced the actors who will star in four biopics about The Beatles: The guy from that Netflix show, the one from Gladiator II, some other dude, and that funny-looking Irish kid as Ringo.
According to a new book on the 2024 election, Barack Obama didn’t want Kamala Harris to run for president and actively worked to undermine her.
Which explains her campaign slogan: “Yes She Can’t.”
The Hooters “breastaurant” chain has filed for bankruptcy.
And no wonder. How are those girls supposed to make any money wearing all those clothes?
A 97-year-old tortoise in the Galapagos Islands has become the oldest first-time mother of her species.
She would’ve started a family much younger, but she couldn’t come out of her shell.
Katy Perry says that when she goes to space as part of Blue Origin’s all-female flight, she’s gonna put the “ass” in “astronaut.”
“Sounds good to me,” said Uranus.