Week Sauce (4/19)
Weekend immune system
Welcome to Week Sauce, where I share some jokes I wrote about the past week’s events. Enjoy!
Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin just sent the first all-female crew into space.
They all returned safely, because none of them were driving.
During Blue Origin’s all-female space flight, Katy Perry sang “What a Wonderful World.”
She says she wanted to pay homage to Louis Armstrong, the first man on the Moon.
Upon returning to Earth, Katy Perry knelt down and kissed the ground.
The Earth is now being treated for herpes simplex.
A new online conspiracy theory claims that Blue Origin’s all-female space flight is a hoax.
Skeptics don’t believe six women could spend 10 minutes alone together without bickering.
A Los Angeles startup is launching the world’s first “sperm race,” in which human sperm cells compete on a microscopic track.
Instead of a checkered flag, the winner will be announced by waving a blue dress.
Rosie O’Donnell has become friends with convicted murderer Kyle Menendez, saying: “For the first time in my life, I felt safe enough to trust and be vulnerable and love a straight man.”
Whereas Menendez says that for the first time in his life, he regrets murdering his parents.
Toco the Human Collie, the Japanese man who wears a $14,000 suit to make him look like a four-legged dog, has shut down his Tokyo “zoo” for other would-be human pooches.
Prospective visitors were turned off by the $300 price tag and the mandatory spaying or neutering.
Last week in Colorado, an annual event called the Boot Tan Fest drew hundreds of women who skied naked as a form of female empowerment.
Because there’s nothing quite like skiing with no poles.
Legendary rock band The Who have fired longtime drummer Zak Starkey, son of Ringo Starr.
It just wasn’t working anymore, according to Roger Daltrey’s new girlfriend.
Disney’s research division has developed an autonomous humanoid robot that can mimic human behavior in real time.
It’s all part of the company’s effort to keep Disneyland mascots from getting drunk.
Gretchen Whitmer hid her face with a folder while visiting the Oval Office.
She was worried Trump would ask her what it was like to take home the gold medal at the 1976 Summer Olympics.
