Week Sauce (3/16)

Weekend immune system

Joe Biden has apologized for referring to the murderer of Laken Riley as an “illegal.”
He meant to say “piece of $#!+.”

However, the White House now says Biden did not apologize.
In Joe’s defense, he honestly doesn’t remember any of it.

Despite Biden’s screaming rant during the State of the Union address, the makers of Snickers insist the candy bar has not gotten smaller.
What was Biden eating that got him so confused? Depends.

This week, Kamala Harris went to a Minnesota abortion clinic.
That’s amazing. I assumed she was too old to even get pregnant.

Climbers on Mt. Everest are being required to bag their own poop, instead of just leaving it up there.
Which is simple common courtesy. Can you think of a worse place to slip and fall?

Toronto police are encouraging residents to leave their car keys by the front door to make things easier for thieves.
Also, make sure to leave condoms and lube on your nightstand.

Researchers say adding a fourth traffic light for autonomous vehicles could reduce traffic delays by 25 percent.
Or, we could eliminate delays altogether by banning driver’s licenses for women.

Oppenheimer has won seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Bomb Without Any Superheroes.

Charlie Sheen is upset that his 20-year-old daughter Sami is on OnlyFans.
He thinks she’s way too old.

Pittsburgh police will no longer respond to 911 calls that aren’t in-progress emergencies.
But who am I supposed to call when I get misgendered at the liquor store? Again.