Week Sauce (2/1)
Weekend immune system
Welcome to Week Sauce, where I share some jokes I wrote about the week’s events for whatever reason. Enjoy!
A British woman has been convicted of sending videos of herself farting to her boyfriend’s ex.
She’s been sentenced to twelve months of community service, hopefully outdoors.
Paul McCartney is worried about artificial intelligence ripping off young musicians.
Not to worry. A.I. Paul McCartney can’t even play because he has way too many fingers.
The CIA now says the COVID-19 pandemic was most likely the result of a lab leak in China.
In other CIA news, the agency says water is almost certainly wet.
Pennsylvania Democrats are proposing a bill to remove biological sex from birth certificates in order to “eliminate discrimination.”
In related news, Philadelphia’s football team will now be known as the Parakeets.
An upcoming documentary on Paul Reubens, AKA Pee-wee Herman, posthumously reveals he was gay.
I know he was, but what am I?
According to a new study, heavy marijuana use can have permanent effects on your memory, even years after you quit.
This according to the National Institute on Um, I’m Not Sure, It’s Some Government Program I Think.
Chinese scientists have manipulated embryonic stem cells to create laboratory mice with two male parents.
Which solves the problem of nobody wanting to mate with scientists.
Jimmy Kimmel asked Ringo Starr if he’s worried about being deported.
Starr’s answer? “No, I’m not your gardener.”
Tonya Harding has just joined Twitter.
At least this time, Nancy Kerrigan can block her.