Week Sauce (11/23)

Weekend immune system

Welcome to Week Sauce, where I share some jokes I wrote about the past week’s news for whatever reason. Enjoy!

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Joe Biden turned 82 years young this week.
To celebrate, Jill let him out of his coffin.

The Washington Post is now giving readers instructions on how to move to another country.
Talk about making America great again!

On last week’s SNL, Alec Baldwin premiered an impression of RFK Jr.
One guy doesn’t want you to get a shot, and the other doesn’t care if you do get shot.

During the closing segment of the weekend’s Saturday Night Live, Alec Baldwin appeared onstage with his fly open.
He just can’t help pointing his gun.

Netflix is being hit with a class-action lawsuit over the streaming issues during the Mike Tyson / Jake Paul fight.
Customers are outraged they didn’t get more shots of Tyson’s bare ass.

Nicole Kidman says she wakes up in the middle of the night, “gasping and crying” about her own mortality.
Her doctors are recommending a drastic measure: carbs.

Jay Leno is wearing an eye patch after falling down a hill in Pennsylvania on his way to perform a stand-up show.
Police are searching for the homeless man who pushed him.

A new bill in the Senate would abolish the Department of Education.
Democrats plan to oppose the move, as soon as they figure out what “abolish” means.

Happy Birthday to Danny DeVito, who just turned 80.
At least his life isn’t short.