Week Sauce (10/5)

Weekend immune system

Welcome to Week Sauce, where I share some jokes I wrote about the past week’s news for whatever reason. Enjoy!

---

According to CBS News, the order of the closing statements in the Vance/Walz debate was decided by a virtual coin toss.
Because thanks to the Biden-Harris economy, nobody has a quarter to spare.

A new poll shows that the average American spends 36 Sundays of the year dreading the week ahead.
And for some of us, it’s even more.

During the debate, Tim Walz said he was a “knucklehead” for falsely claiming he was in Hong Kong during the Tiananmen Square massacre.
However, at the time he did play a lot of Double Dragon.

Actor Zachary Levi has endorsed Donald Trump for president in 2024.
His new magic word is “MAGA.”

Harold Daggett, the union boss who just threatened to cripple the economy, lives in a huge mansion in New Jersey.
That’s weird. “Daggett” doesn’t sound Italian.

In his latest music video, rapper Eminem reveals he’s going to be a grandfather.
To celebrate, Werther’s Original has announced a new flavor: Vicodin.