Week Sauce (10/26)
Welcome to Week Sauce, where I share some jokes I wrote about the past week’s news for whatever reason. Enjoy!
Donald Trump is now implying that the late golfing legend Arnold Palmer had a large penis.
I didn’t know MAGA stood for Mention Arnold’s Giant Anaconda.
According to The Atlantic magazine, Trump is speaking like Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini.
Yeah, Josef Stalin just wouldn’t shut up about the size of Arnold Palmer’s junk.
Last weekend, Alec Baldwin returned to Saturday Night Live to mock Bret Baier.
For once, Baldwin did not kill.
It was his first SNL appearance in almost four years. I’m glad they gave him another shot.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus says she wants to get the government out of her “f***ing sn*tch.”
Come on, she’s 63. There’s only one guy in America who wants to break into something that old.
Lizzo is now campaigning for Kamala, and she says, “You hoes couldn’t even spell democracy.”
If you don’t believe her, just ask an average Kamala voter.
Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer says Donald Trump is “weak” and “a charlatan.”
Tough talk, but then, she used to be on the Wheaties box.
A drunk driver in Milwaukee nearly crashed into Kamala’s motorcade.
Everybody’s okay, and the driver’s blood alcohol content was actually lower than hers.
Mike Jeffries, former CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, has been arrested as part of an FBI sex trafficking investigation.
Authorities first became suspicious after walking into an Abercrombie & Fitch.
Justin Trudeau is planning to “significantly reduce the number of immigrants coming to Canada for the next two years.”
He’s also changing the name of the country to MAGAda.
(Wanna read the rest? Pay me!)