The Liberation of Twitter Should Be a National Holiday
V-T Day
I once got suspended from Twitter for tweeting the wrong emojis at Bradley Manning.
And I’ve been suspended a bunch of other times over the years, for various arbitrary infractions. One time I even got suspended for directly quoting Busta Rhymes.
So right now, I’ve got a lot of feelings about Elon Musk taking over Twitter and immediately firing the CEO, the CFO, and the “head of legal, policy, and trust,” whatever the hell that even is. The predominant emotion is a giddy, vindictive joy at the sudden downfall of an oppressor. The Lord might say, “Stay out of this, vengeance is mine,” but I can still make popcorn and watch.
In the words of a noted 20th Century philosopher:
Schadenfreude is a vulgar emotion and I love it.
This should be a national holiday. Free Speech Day. V-T Day. And it took an immigrant to give it to us. An African-American immigrant, no less!
The libs are panicking that people they hate will be allowed to say forbidden things again. For a lot of people on both sides of the aisle, that means the likely return of the Bad Orange Man. They cheered or booed when he was banned from Twitter. And since then, journos and other liberals have been taking screenshots of his Truth Social posts and doing his tweeting for him. You’d think they’d be glad to save a step.
I don’t care one way or another about that guy’s Twitter status, but I do want to see this account unlocked:
Arguably, this is the tweet that started this whole thing. The Babylon Bee has been locked out of their account since March, because this joke about basic human biology angered somebody at Twitter. The Bee can’t use their account until that tweet is deleted. They’ve refused, and for damn good reason.
And right after that suspension, Babylon Bee fan Elon Musk started making noises about buying Twitter.
Chickens, roost, etc.
I’m almost too happy to type words right now. Maybe Musk will turn out to be the evil tyrant the libs are all terrified of. But for now, I’m just enjoying their despair and humiliation. I support the free speech of the enemies of free speech, because it is greatly amusing when they are thwarted.
Tee-hee!
And now it’s time for America’s favorite new game show: Gaslighting or Dementia?
You might think this is the Alzheimer’s talking. Poor ol’ Joe probably just doesn’t know what day it is, or week or month or year. Now, I’m not saying that’s impossible. He obviously drifts in and out of lucidity, sometimes in the middle of a sentence.
But if he was plucking a gas price out of the mists of the past, his shriveling brain would reach back to, like, 1957. That’s how dementia works. He can tell you all about Corn Pop, but he doesn’t remember what he had for breakfast. While he’s eating breakfast.
No, Joe is just plain lying. He knows gas prices have gone up since he was inaugurated, so he’s telling an insane lie because it’s worked his whole career and he’s never been punished for it. Why stop now?
Verdict: Gaslighting
By the way, remember the pandemic that is both over and not over, depending on which one suits the White House at any particular moment? Here’s the latest on that:
Excuse me, but the lab leak theory is racist. You’re spreading hate speech against Chinese people everywhere if you assume COVID-19 originated in a highly advanced biolab. Whereas it’s not racist to believe it happened because somebody ate a bowl of raw bat assholes in a filthy wet market.
Do better, racists.
Hey, did you know that when John Fetterman bought that mansion from his sister for $1, he was actually helping his community?
Ladies and gentlemen, the next de facto senator from Pennsylvania:
“And while we did not want the mansion, that mansion came with a pool... And the dream was to open this pool and make it a public pool, turn it into the people’s pool, and ensure that young people across Pennsylvania could learn how to swim and learn water safety and kind of work to right some of the wrongs. Historically, swimming in America is very racist, and usually when you look at drowning statistics, it usually affects children of color because of lack of access.”
Well, at least she can speak in complete sentences.
Hi. Good night, everybody!
Streaming pick: Barbarian on HBO Max.
I’m not gonna spoil it. The less you know going in, the better. I probably shouldn’t even show you the trailer. One of the weirdest horror movies I’ve ever seen. And if I ran Airbnb, I would sue.
TGIF (Toby Got Incredibly Flatulent), and thanks for reading.
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This is my new favorite sentence of yours.
“The Lord might say, “Stay out of this, vengeance is mine,” but I can still make popcorn and watch.”
That’s golden right there.
“ Whereas it’s not racist to believe it happened because somebody ate a bowl of raw bat assholes in a filthy wet market.”
You can tell it’s a Friday because you just went yard with “a bowl of raw bat assholes”
“And while we did not want the mansion, that mansion came with a pool... And the dream was to open this pool and make it a public pool, turn it into the people’s pool, …”
Right, so whatever happened to that dream? Did she save all the poor, non-swimming black Pennsylvanians? I just love white, liberal saviors. Like black people just can’t live another minute without them. Life for black folks would be a lot better if these mighty saviors would just mind their own business. We good.
#FreeTheBee