It's Okay to Log Off, Elon
This is the last Monday edition of 2022, and I’m going to do what I can. But I’ll be honest, dear reader: I’m already checked out. Mentally and emotionally, I’m in Christmas mode. Visions of sugar plums are dancing in my head even as I type these words. And I’ve never even eaten a sugar plum.
Plus, I’m exhausted and I’m struggling to care about anything that’s going on in the world right now. But such is my commitment to you that I choose to valiantly persevere through sheer force of will.
You’re welcome!
There seems to be a new manufactured drama surrounding Twitter every 45 minutes or so. A bunch of journos got suspended for whatever reason, and then they were reinstated. Elon Musk announced some weird new policy, and then he reversed it the next day. The journos and other libs are freaking out.
It’s amusing to me, because he’s tweaking the egos of people who really need to get over themselves. He’s making libs walk on eggshells, the same way I had to watch my step under the old regime. It’s deeply satisfying, and I’m tired of pretending it isn’t.
But it’s also enervating. Trying to keep up with all of this crap makes me tired. And it doesn’t seem like a good way to run a business. Doesn’t Musk have better things to do, like launching rockets and whatnot?
He seems to feel the same way:
Although this feels a bit like Bane pretending to give power back to the people of Gotham City. Musk is just making it up as he goes, and then boasting about the surge in traffic from all the rubberneckers. The chaos is entertaining, but it’s still chaos.
I don’t trust Elon Musk. And, also, in addition to that, I reserve the right to enjoy every nanosecond of this.
Not that the people who hate Musk are any better:
Free speech means trying to extort a billionaire who has removed you from his social media platform. The only leverage this kid has over Musk is unfavorable press coverage, which will keep happening no matter what Musk does. So I doubt this will work. But who knows? Musk is capricious enough to give this kid what he wants, or ban him for life, or both. Maybe he’ll conduct a poll about it.
Musk’s unpredictable behavior is also drawing attention away from the Twitter Files, which were Musk’s idea in the first place. Matt Taibbi keeps presenting new evidence that the old Twitter regime was in the pocket of the FBI:
That seems more important than some tech journo getting suspended for being a lying asshole, but what do I know? Not much.
And just as I’m putting the finishing touches on today’s newsletter, the latest round of Twitter Files has dropped:
Comics writer Mike Baron (Nexus, Badger, The Punisher, The Flash) has been crowdfunding a new title called Private American, an action story about an ex-soldier who becomes a vigilante against Mexican drug cartels. It’s basically the Punisher, except the guy is Cuban-American.
Then Kickstarter kicked Baron off the platform after the Daily Kos lied about the project. Baron went on Fox & Friends this morning to talk about it:
You can still support Private American at Indiegogo, although they’ve shadowbanned it on their platform as well. It’s not enough that the mainstream comics industry has chased out anybody who’s to the right of Josef Stalin. Now the libs are trying to keep fans from spending our own money on indie comics. They’re fundamentally opposed to free speech.
Then they call us fascists.
Tom Cruise crossed the Brimley/Cocoon line — that is, turning the same age Wilford Brimley was when Cocoon premiered in theaters in 1985 — almost 10 years ago. Yet every time Cruise makes another movie, he takes greater and greater risks with his personal safety. With each passing day, he becomes more eager to dazzle the audience.
And he grows more and more insane.
This man jumped out of an airplane just to remind you that Top Gun: Maverick is coming to streaming.
And in case you’re wondering how he got that shot, he’s been practicing a lot:
Good lord. This guy is 60 years old!
If Cruise wants to tell us he’s fueled by his love of the movies and not the fearsome might of Xenu, that’s fine. “Yeah, I know, I know, I jumped on Oprah’s couch. Now watch this!”
As we close out 2022, it’s just nice to see an entertainer who remembers his place. He’s there to caper about for our amusement. He makes a very good living by putting butts in seats. It’s not his job to scold us about climate change, or sexism, or white supremacy, or drinking cow’s milk, or whatever the cause du jour happens to be. His job is to make us forget the woes of the world, not to add to them.
What’s with all these old dudes doing all these crazy stunts, anyway? Cruise, Keanu, Brad Pitt… the older they get, the more desperately they try not to behave like old men. I respect the hustle, but I hope they don’t end up hurting themselves. Just imagine John Wick breaking a hip!
Merry Christmas, old man!
Enjoy the whole holiday season. Kicking back a little is not wrong.