I, For One, Welcome Our New Robot Overlords

How did it take so long for the human race to invent a robot dog with a flamethrower?

So far, 2024 has been a mess.

The president was born before the advent of television, credit cards, and polio vaccines, and now his brain is a rapidly crusting nugget of mush.

His predecessor, who also wants to be his successor, is almost as old and arguably even crazier.

You’re expected to swear fealty to one or the other to avoid the wrath of one mob or the other.

Ivy League campuses are now openly antisemitic, and the people who screamed about tiki torches in Charlottesville would like you to stop bringing it up.

A quick trip to the grocery store triggers sticker shock.

We’re offered infinite hours of streaming entertainment, and not a single minute of it is worth watching. Or you could watch network TV, which is all game shows.

Taylor Swift really wants you to know she hates herself almost as much as she hates you.

All in all, 2024 sucks. Speaking as a humble typist who gets paid to follow the news, it’s never been more of a job.

But once in a great while, I run across a story that renews my faith in humanity. A reminder that our species, as blinkered and bass-ackwards as we may be, is still capable of greatness. A glorious dream made manifest:

A robot dog that shoots fire.