Elon Musk Seems Like a Cool Guy and Maybe He'll Hire Me at Twitter

Just kidding?

Have you made any big purchases lately, dear reader? A car, a washing machine, a big-screen TV, something like that? Well, the following item is sort of similar, except with dozens of billions of dollars and control of the very discourse at stake.

Elon Musk @elonmusk

I made an offer sec.gov/Archives/edgar…

The New York Times @nytimes

Breaking News: Elon Musk offered to buy Twitter for $54.20 a share, just weeks after he became the social media company’s largest shareholder.

nyti.msElon Musk offers to buy Twitter for $54.20 a share.“Twitter has extraordinary potential. I will unlock it,” the Tesla chief executive said in a regulatory filing.

I, for one, welcome our new autistic overlord! Maybe now I won’t keep getting suspended every other month.

The number $41 billion is being thrown around. Or maybe it’s $37 billion, or $43 billion. Somewhere in there. A lot of billions. I can’t even conceive of one billion dollars, let alone a bunch of them.

When you’ve bought all the cars and boats and mansions

¹

you’ll never need, and you’re launching rockets into space, and you’ve even hosted SNL for some reason, that’s when you decide to buy Twitter. Why not? Gotta keep things interesting.

Or maybe Musk just wants to read the Babylon Bee without interference:

Daily Wire @realDailyWire

Elon Musk Contacted The Babylon Bee Before Buying 9% Of Twitter dlvr.it/SN3jN7

They’re still suspended because of this joke they refuse to delete:

The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee

The Babylon Bee's Man Of The Year Is Rachel Levine

babylonbee.comThe Babylon Bee’s Man Of The Year Is Rachel LevineThe Babylon Bee has selected Rachel Levine as its first annual Man of the Year. Levine is the U.S. assistant secretary for health for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, where he serves proudly as the first man in that position to dress like a western cultural stereotype of a woman. He…

And now Elon Musk is raiding Twitter. Coincidence?

No matter what happens, libs are panicking. So that’s always fun to watch. We’re already seeing Orwellian horsecrap about Musk being a threat to free speech because he wants people to be able to say whatever they want:

Robert Reich @RBReich

In Musk’s vision of Twitter and the internet, he’d be the wizard behind the curtain – projecting on the world’s screen a fake image of a brave new world empowering everyone.

theguardian.comElon Musk’s vision for the internet is dangerous nonsense | Robert ReichMusk now faces no limit on how much of Twitter’s stock he can buy. He’ll buy as much as he needs to gain total control

Okay, Dr. Loveless, sit down. Oh, you are sitting down.

Then there’s this genius:

Max Boot 🇺🇦 @MaxBoot

I am frightened by the impact on society and politics if Elon Musk acquires Twitter. He seems to believe that on social media anything goes. For democracy to survive, we need more content moderation, not less.

With a name like Max Boot, you gotta stomp out free speech!

Libs don’t want us expressing our honest opinions, because then it’s a lot tougher to control us. And they hate being ridiculed because, as Saul Alinsky noted decades ago, there’s no defense against it. If you make a joke about Richard Levine being a man — which he is, because that’s how chromosomes work and everybody knows it — libs will panic and try to silence you. In their minds, they have no choice. The truth is just too dangerous.

Elon Musk is standing up for the Babylon Bee, wielding his astonishing fortune like a giant spiked baseball bat, and it’s a modern liberal’s worst nightmare.

Tee-hee!

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Meanwhile:

Mr. Whale @CryptoWhale

BREAKING: An NFT of Jack Dorsey's first-ever tweet, which sold for $2.9M last year, was put up for sale & only got 7 offers from $277 to $6.

🤷‍♂️

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jimtreacher.substack.com @jtLOL

Day 228 of Americans stranded in Afghanistan.

Guy Benson @guypbenson

Please read @NRO's report on the desperation of a longtime interpreter stuck in Afghanistan. His passport was destroyed by US embassy staff during the chaos as the country was being taken over by the Taliban -- who are hunting him down. Ongoing nightmare:

nationalreview.comU.S. Embassy Staff Destroyed Passports as Taliban Took Over, Trapping American Allies in Afghanistan | National ReviewOne former interpreter told NR he’s been on the run from the Taliban for weeks and has nowhere to go.

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Every once in a while, I’m wrong about something. This is not one of those times.

Charles Fain Lehman @CharlesFLehman

New from me: critics of the media often argue that they downplay non-white offenders' race, and play up that of white offenders. But is it true? With the help of @FreeBeacon, I use data on over 1,000 articles to show that yes, it is.

freebeacon.comYes, the Media Bury the Race of Murderers—If They’re Not White - Washington Free BeaconFrank James, the man arrested for Tuesday’s New York City subway shooting, is a black nationalist and outspoken racist who railed against whites, Jews, and Hispanics. A careful reader of the New York Times could be forgiven for overlooking that. In a nearly-2,000 word article on the attack, James’s…

Toldja. If you read a headline about a violent crime and the offender’s race isn’t mentioned, that means he’s not white. Every time.

Murder is bad, no matter what the murderer looks like. One day, maybe the mainstream media will agree.

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I have about one-third as many subscribers as CNN+. Most of you cheapskates aren’t paying me — YET!!! — but still. Not bad for an aging cripple with a keyboard and very little else.

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Yes, yes, you’re dying to find out what I thought of this week’s Moon Knight, the Disney+ show with Oscar Isaac as a violent schizo in a magical superhero costume from an Egyptian god who sounds just like F. Murray Abraham. But my internet connection has been spotty, so I’ve only seen a few minutes of it. Sorry!

Maybe I should dump Comcast and get one of those Starlink things. Which is yet another Elon Musk venture, hmmm…

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Woke up this morning and the knee was hurting more than usual. Don’t know why. The weather, maybe? Oh wait, I got hit by a State Department SUV, that’s the problem.

It would be nice if I could just switch off those nerve endings. You don’t really need to feel the outside of your knee for most daily tasks, like navigating a keyboard or feeding yourself. Plus, walking without a limp would be nice.

I’ve started mixing lidocaine, capsaicin, and menthol to put on the damn thing. It’s not much, but it helps me think straight long enough to get some writing done. Opioids work, but I can’t think clearly and I don’t want to get hooked. No more booze, ever again. Recently I started taking CBD, but it doesn’t seem to do anything.

Chronic pain just starts getting to you, day after day. It’s been 12 years and my damn knee still hurts all the time. It’s never going to not hurt again.

Time for some Morphine.

1. Actually, Musk lives in a cracker box now. Almost literally. Oh, those wacky billionaires!