Can You List Five Things You Accomplished Last Week?

Y/N

This weekend, Elon Musk sent out an email to all federal employees, and it’s making a lot of people angry.

So: It’s a Saturday in February, and you’re doing whatever a fed does on a Saturday in February, and suddenly this bombshell hits your inbox:

Oh no! Accountability? In government?!?

This move has outraged Democrats, of course, because it’s the Trump administration doing it. So now the Dems find themselves in the unenviable position of defending lazy federal workers who collect a paycheck from our taxes for doing nothing all day.

“Fascism” has now been downgraded to “Asking government employees what they got done on the clock in exchange for the money we’re all forced to pay them.”

I’m not a fed, probably, but this development made me wonder if I could account for my whereabouts last week. Could I pass muster in this brave new DOGE world?

So I made a list: