Brian Stelter Learns to Code
Byeeeee
There was a time when I thought the inevitable news about Brian Stelter getting fired from CNN would make me happy. At one point in my life, I actually believed that was what I wanted.
That time is now!
Here’s a reliable source: Brian’s new boss at Arby’s.
First Chris Cuomo, then Jeff Zucker, then Jeffrey Toobin. Now the worst of them all is gone from CNN. This sort of schadenfreude doesn’t come along every day, so I’m trying to savor it.
Now, I know what you’re expecting. You think I’m gonna make a bunch of potato jokes. “Wow, this guy looks like a potato. He’s Tater Boy! Hey, spud, have you strongly resembled any good tubers lately?” But nah. I won’t go there. Brian Stelter is not a potato.
Potatoes are popular!
CNN can take that bloated charlatan off the air, but they can’t take away our memories:
The encomiums keep rolling in. Stephen “Not the Trump Guy” Miller puts it best:
“We should not remember Brian Stelter as an unbiased journalist; he was a hitman on behalf of the media, sent in as the cleaner for CNN and Jeff Zucker. Imagine a less competent Mike Ehrmentraut.”
And Nate Hochman at NRO also puts it best:
“The media are not wanting in egotistical, preening, self-satisfied buffoons, but rarely in the course of human events have we witnessed such a profound inverse relationship between self-regard and intelligence.”
Stelter will be back eventually, of course. Nobody who’s that dishonest and that loyal to the Democratic Party will go hungry for long. But his masters probably won’t put him back in front of a camera.
Can you believe that face and that voice only lasted on TV for nine years?
Is this anything?
That seems newsworthy… Oh, wait, I forgot! Joe Biden isn’t a Republican. Never mind.
Speaking of the Bidens, now the libs are actually bragging about suppressing the laptop story:
Democracy is too precious to leave to the voters. The truth must be kept from them, in order to produce the electoral result our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters want. Now shut up, peasants.
Today’s DALL·E Robot Art
What I typed in: “Batman washing dishes in a chain restaurant”
What DALL·E spit out:
I kinda liked She-Hulk: Attorney at Law as I watched it, because I’m a fan of giant green people yelling and breaking things. It’s a very silly show, and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of silliness from time to time.
But the more this show’s biggest fans swoon over it, the more annoyed I’m getting. As always, “The Conversation” saps all the joy out of everything.
Check out this scene from the first episode, which an intern at the Internet Movie Database thinks you need to hear louder. In this scene, the “smart” Hulk (played by Mark Ruffalo and a team of CGI nerds) has just been mansplaining his life as a huge green muscly person. His cousin Jennifer Walters, who has been magically transformed into a female version of him, ain’t havin’ any of it:
“Here’s the thing, Bruce: I’m great at controlling my anger. I do it all the time. When I’m catcalled in the street. When incompetent men explain my own area of expertise to me. I do it pretty much every day, because if I don’t, I will get called ‘emotional,’ or ‘difficult,’ or mmmmmight just literally get murdered. So, I’m an expert at controlling my anger because I do it infinitely more than you!!!”
Yikes. Must be that time of the Hulk!
Yes, the first thing you’ll always notice about a feminist is how calm she is. Kudos to the CGI crew who worked overtime to animate every nuance on the Hulk’s face as this woman shrieks at him about her superior anger management.
Daredevil is supposed to show up later in the season, and I hope the Jade Giantess reminds him that being a woman is much worse than being blind. “Hey, at least you don’t have to look at mean tweets!”
We get it, girls. Nobody in this world suffers more than upwardly mobile thirtysomething white women. You’re the victims. You win. Now, could we please get back to the big green steroid freaks jumping around punching robots and stuff? That’s what we paid to see. Thank you.
Dang, they really are talking me out of enjoying this show…
And there goes another week. Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll subscribe if you haven’t already.
Come back and see me on Monday. I’ll have typed some more words by then.
Boys, let's pour one out for The Tater. I, for one, will miss this no-talent schlub.
I've said for I don't know how long, that Tater is the epitome of White Privilege. He should have never ascended past the level of "Fresno Action News Reporter, Weekends and Holidays Division." But yet here he was, top of the damn cable food chain! I will say this; he eagerly, determinedly, went after any and all conservative. He was very good at being the overfed and under-walked chihuahua of the Corporate Cable News Cabal.
I think my favorite part about Tater was how his Twitter avi is of him from in his college days... young, svelte, a bit more hair and bit less chin. That was the Tater that Tater dreamed of being.
But, what the flying F**k do I know! I don't know squat. I know the Vuelta España started today, and I really am pulling for that Remco kid. Massive talent, a bit fragile on the ego, so let's see how he does with the second most powerful squad at his command. Podium prediction: Jai Hindley, Remco Evenepool, Primoz Roglić... in what order? I don't know.
1) Potato down, Lemon on deck. 2) Not surprised to hear someone admit that the conspiracy against Trump exists; they're basically flaunting the fact that they can do anything they want and get away with it. Although I had to look up "who is sam harris" to see who this guy even was.