Apple Wants to Destroy Everything You Love

It's finally 1984

The Apple Vision Pro seems to have completely disappeared from the public consciousness, so it’s time for the company to try another attention-getting stunt.

How about crushing a bunch of cool stuff in a hydraulic press to advertise their ultra-thin new iPad?

A metronome, a record player, a trumpet, some paint, a piano, a cathode-ray TV, some more paint, a drum set, an arcade console, a bust of some old Greek dude, a guitar, some books, a few stress balls, and a bunch of other crap. All smooshed flat.

Set to the music of… Sonny & Cher?

I guess I get the idea. “Here’s all the stuff you can do on your dumb new iPad. Yay!” But there’s just something weird and creepy and dystopian about it.

What’s creative about destroying art?

I found out about this awful ad from Apple CEO Tim Cook himself, who tweeted:

“Meet the new iPad Pro: the thinnest product we’ve ever created, the most advanced display we’ve ever produced, with the incredible power of the M4 chip. Just imagine all the things it’ll be used to create.”

Right now, it’s creating a sick feeling in my stomach.

Contrast this cruddy commercial with another famous Apple ad from 40(!) years ago:

Back then, Apple was symbolically smashing the forces of conformity and tyranny. It was a hammer-blow to the face of facelessness.

“Our Unification of Thoughts is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth,” intones the Big Brother-like overseer before he takes a sledgehammer to the teeth. “We are one people, with one will, one resolve, one cause.”

Back then, that’s what Apple was trying to prevent.

Now they’re bragging about crushing reality itself and molding it into their own version. Now they’re smashing stuff because it’s old and outdated.

Now they’re the guys they used to warn us about.

No, 1984 wasn’t like 1984. That would take another 40 years.

Big Brother has won. His boot is now crushing your face while he spews anti-human nonsense at you.

And even worse, Cher got a big payday for it.

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