
The United States is the first and only country in the world to put human beings on the Moon. And until this week, it was America’s finest achievement in space.
Then came the six bravest women in the history of astronautation: Katy Perry, Jeff Bezos’ girlfriend, and… I dunno, a few other gals with the same hairstyle. Not to mention the most important person who has ever lived: Gayle King.
Move over, Neil Armstrong. Bad bitches in the house, by which I mean space!
“It is my pleasure to tell you, you’ve passed. Does that make you feel confident? Does that make you feel good?”
“It’s not about going to space. It’s about what we bring back.”
Finally, somebody remembered the real reason for all this.
If you’re a stupid man who hasn’t done the right thing and gone trans yet, you probably still think space exploration is about “science” and “adventure” and “expanding our knowledge of the universe” and other rhetoric of the patriarchy.
But it’s really about self-actualization. It’s about soothing the feelings of rich, entitled women who aren’t very useful to society and feel defensive about it.
Unfortunately, some people want to diminish this stunning aeronautical achievement because they hate women. Oh no you dih-int!
Of course, Gayle King is exactly right. It’s sexist to think Alan Shepard accomplished anything she didn’t.
But we shouldn’t forget that this slur is racist as well. Out of all the people we’ve put on the Moon, guess how many weren’t white males?
That’s right: almost none!
You know who did like to ride? The Confederacy. The Ku Klux Klan. Is that really the way you look at the world?
I will not sit here and listen to Gayle King being disrespected by a bunch of racists who can’t afford to pay $150,000 to go up in space for a few minutes in a self-driving rocket.
All hail the new Queen of Space: King!
All this space stuff reminds of that time Ryan Gosling portrayed Neil Armstrong in a movie and people got mad for some reason.
The Democrats have found their new mascot: a wife-beating MS-13 gangster and human trafficker who doesn’t speak English.
Like the old saying goes: Never interrupt your opponent when he’s making a mistake.
TGIF (Tersely, Genevieve Inhaled Fajitas), and thanks for reading my humble newsletter. I’m glad to be able to bring it to you.
But there’s a 90% chance that you’re a free subscriber. I’ve got thousands of freeloaders, but only a few hundred readers willing to fork over the modest subscription fee. Most people who are enjoying this right now don’t think it’s worth helping the author make a living at it.
Why not remedy that right now? It’s only $5 a month. You know it’s the right thing to do, and more importantly, you’ll get me to shut up about it.
Please?
Re the subscription bleg: You were the first Substack entity I paid for. I honestly thought a Substack was some sort of building on a farm. Since then I have discovered others, and several have gotten my (increasingly rare since retirement) $. As RAH said, money is the sincerest form of flattery. But I'm still here and I'll be here for the distance. I'm tickled that you are part of the success of Gutfield, and if this Substack does no more than give you an outlet for gags that don't make the show for one reason or another, I'll be content. Long may you wave.
What the Hell, Donnie from Queens. "First Man" was a good movie.