2021: The Year in Review
What did we learn?
Just kidding. I’m not going to review 2021. I just want it to be over.
Year-end reviews are dumb anyway. What’s the point? It’s just an excuse, as you limp to the end of the year, to dig up a bunch of old stuff you wrote months ago. “Remember when I typed this?” It’s like a ‘70s sitcom doing a year-end “clip show” instead of coming up with a new story. Everybody’s tired and nobody wants to do anything. That’s where I’m at right now.
Okay, here’s how I’ll sum up the last 365 days, give or take a few: If I learned anything from living through 2021, it’s that the people I’m supposed to believe are even less trustworthy than I ever imagined. It’s rarely a question of whether or not they’re lying to me. Of course they are. They’re all lying, all the time. But how egregious is a particular lie, and what are the liar’s specific reasons for telling that lie? Every year I’m alive, the lies just keep getting bigger and the reasons keep getting flimsier.
That would be my takeaway from 2021: Don’t trust anybody.
Except me, of course! I’m your buddy. I’d never steer you wrong. You trust me, don’t ya, pal?
Hello?
And then there’s this:
Yeah, I’m done with 2021.
Also, next week it will be four years since the last time I drank any alcohol. If you want to stop, you can stop. I did. If you don’t want to stop, it’s none of my business. That’s a personal choice, and I’ll leave you alone if you leave me alone.
Anyway, I just wanted to pat myself on the back for that. As bad as the last couple of years have been, I honestly don’t think I’d be here right now if I hadn’t quit drinking. It was a lesson I had to learn for myself, and I’m glad I did.
Oh, Biden’s just fine. Why do you ask?
Omicron? More like Omicroff, am I right?
More details are emerging about John Griffin, the CNN producer who raped little girls. He had a whole system where he would pay parents to have sex with their children, and then he’d fly them in from across the country to his home in Vermont. He called it “training.”
He was utterly unashamed about it:
When chatting with someone online who admitted to sexually assaulting a baby, Griffin reassured the assailant, saying, “You need to promise me that you will always understand what you’re doing is right, OK?” Chats show him calling young girls and babies explicit names like “little slut,” “little whore,” and “little b—h.”
I miss the old days, when somebody like this would get pulled apart by a team of horses while the townspeople cheered.
And our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters at CNN actually expect us to believe they had no idea what this monster was doing?
Remember when Hollywood remade Ghostbusters, except the busters who ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts were all women? Remember how funny it wasn’t? Remember trying to figure out who the intended audience for such a film was even supposed to be?
At the time, I was skeptical that there was a big overlap between hardcore third-wave feminists and Ghostbusters fans. And I was absolutely right. Which is, of course, misogynist.
Sony Pictures would rather you didn’t remember any of that. They’re releasing an eight-disc Ghostbusters Ultimate Collection in a couple of months, with the original Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters II, and this year’s Ghostbusters Afterlife. I’m not sure what’s on the other five discs, but the 2016 Ghostbusters isn’t included.
Guess who’s unhappy about that? The creep who directed it.
Who ya gonna call? Try somebody who gives a $#!+.
If I was unequivocally responsible for the 2016 Ghostbusters debacle, maybe I wouldn’t keep reminding the world about it. Sony is doing you a favor, Mr. Feig. If they’re willing to forgive and forget your humiliating failure, you should just say thank you, promise it’ll never happen again, and get on with your life.
So Hawkeye wrapped up this week. It was pretty good, I guess. Kinda cool to see Wilson Fisk knocking Hawkeye around, even if it wasn’t the real Hawkeye. And once again, Florence Pugh blew everybody else off the screen and Marvel should give her a show of her own.
Y’know, Mrs. Barton seemed pretty laid-back about her husband almost missing Christmas because he was hanging out in Manhattan all week with a gorgeous 22-year-old heiress. He even brought the girl home with him! We know Clint kept his shaft out of Kate’s quiver, but his wife doesn’t. He’s lucky she didn’t throw all his trick arrows and stuff out on the front lawn.
Yesterday I ranted at length about The Matrix Resurrections, concluding that the movie is a big mess but I kinda liked it anyway. One thing I forgot to mention is that a lot of libs are mad that the term “redpill” has been appropriated by some right-wingers. Vanity Fair and The Ringer both have lengthy pieces about how awful it is that people who don’t agree with them are allowed to enjoy movies and make references to those movies.
Seems kinda paradoxical to me. Libs think of themselves as free-thinkers, right up until the moment someone disagrees with them. “No, we’re the only ones who can see reality for what it really is. You dummies can’t be redpilled. Stop saying you’re redpilled!” It sounds like something Agent Smith would say. Something a fascist would say.
If they’re so enlightened, why are they so angry?
When you popularize an idea, you can’t control what people do with it. Better luck next time, Lana.
#lol
Happy Thursday, and thanks for reading. This is my last post of 2021, so I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. This year has been even more stressful than 2020, and everybody could use a little yuletide cheer right now. It’s like Santa always says: “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.” Or maybe that was somebody else. It’s good advice regardless.
Incredibly, I’m just four subscribers away from reaching my goal for the first six months of this AD-FREE newsletter. How about helping me hit that goal before the year ends? I’m in this for the long haul, if you’ll have me. I just need your support, friend. If you haven’t done the right thing and started paying me yet, there’s no better time than the present.
That’s it for me, then. I’ll be back on January 3, 2022. Stay safe, eat too much, enjoy time with your family if they don’t suck, etc. See you next year!
Merry Happy and congrats on that four-year mark.
I don't know if I'm an oddity among your subscribers but I am a liberal who enjoys your wit and intelligence. Hope all your many readers from over the decades get in here and keep you going,
An observation--I don't plan to follow up on that Alsatian thing from Scotland but surely the woman involved is a guy in drag.
You are the only Substack I pay for. I would send you a private email but I didn't see one listed, but I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading your columns. Well worth the $5 each month!